The World's Largest Sub-Par Meeting Between Two Teams That Used To Matter In The Race For The SEC East

Greetings from the Treasure Coast! I took a second out from the search for two convicted killers on the loose in my neighborhood to bring you all another blogisode (probably not a word) of FlawdaGator the Entertainer Presents. As you can tell by the overly long but spot on title of this blog, it's Florida vs. Georgia week; aka 'The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party'. The city of Jacksonville along with the NCAA tried to rename it to something else a few years back. Honestly, I don't remember what it was and to be perfectly honest with you, it's 12:30 in the morning, and I'm not googling that $#!t to find out; and since I'm old school, I'm just going to call it what I've always called it TWLOCP (abbreviated; obviously)

The only good looking thing about this game...You're looking at it.

This yearly "neutral" battle between SEC East foes used to be an epic battle of the titans in Jacksonville. (and let's be honest, probably the only time that Alltel Stadium ever gets near capacity or sold out, unless there's a really good team playing the Los Angel...I mean Jacksonville Jaguars or a Steely Dan outdoors concert)...You're welcome, City of Jacksonville. At any rate, onto the game. As eViL G pointed out a week or so ago, this game could possibly come down to see who would be the lucky SEC East representative to get their $#!t pushed in by either LSU or Alabama come the first week in December.

I tell you what, that darn eViL G is like a mocha colored genie in a bottle!! Because, wouldn't you know it.... here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons away from controlling our own piss poor destiny to (possibly) have the chance to earn our way to Atlanta to take on the soon-to-be 6th straight BCS/NCAA National Champion.

Usually, I save my prediction for the game until the day before, the day of, or until eViL G has made his pick, but since I've already typed all of this out, I might as well finish it. Florida has a chance to win this game. They honestly do. John Brantley supposedly will return from injury, Jeff Demps is back to 100% speed and is injury free, and we only have one linebacker who is injured and unable to play. My heart tells me to choose Florida. My head says Georgia.

My beloved Gators have lost 3 straight coming into this game and honestly, they've looked about as shaky and unstable as Aretha Franklin standing on a card table. But like Aretha, they deserve a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. They are losers of 3 straight and are coming off of a bye week. They are rested, they are ready, and again like Aretha, I'm sure they're hungry. So for those reasons, and those reasons alone, I say that the Gators will march their happy asses into Jacksonville (minus the Orange Pants) and win against the Bulldogs from Athens.

Final Score:
Gators 31
Puppies 24

Go Gators!
Flawda

Follow me on the twitters @FlawdaGator

eViL G's Weekly Picks for October 22nd



Greetings from The City Beautiful, and many thanks to Keith Edwards and Lionel Forbes for their contributions this past week.  Great job guys!

It's worth noting that just a couple days ago I spent about two hours on the phone with Keith Edwards solving most of the world's problems...from politics, to professional wrestling, the keys to domestic tranquility, and just enough NFL discussion to keep me from hanging up in his face.  I'm pleased to report that based on our little bonding session, he is now TIED for first place as my favorite Alabama fan named Keith.  He mentioned Tim Tebow's name one too many times to overtake Keith Williams, and it goes without saying neither one of those guys are on the same planet as Garland Harwell.

A glance at this week's schedule is about a pleasant as that picture of Gaddafi with a bullet in his he.....please hold.....I'm being told by our production staff the picture I'm referring to was a picture of Gaddafi when he was still alive.  You can barely tell the difference. 

Anyways, this week's schedule is chock full of stank, to the point where I had trouble deciding which games to pick.  So please accept my heartfelt apologies for what you are about to read.

Oklahoma State at Missouri

I feel it's my duty to start paying attention to Missouri on a certain level.  I know their colors are black and gold, and their mascot is the same as Auburn, LSU, Clemson, Grambling, Princeton, Memphis, and Tuskegee...that's about it.  Missouri gets a taste of what to expect in God's Conference, courtesy of an Oklahoma State team looking to crash the BCS party in New Orleans.

Cowboys - 34

Tigers - 21

North Carolina at Clemson

With apologies to Turner Gill, I chose this game over Kansas State-Kansas. Coach Dabo's boys might be the most entertaining team in the southeast.  Last time Clemson had it rolling like this, 12-year old eViL G watched Homer Jordan and Perry Tuttle beat Nebraska in the 1982 Orange Bowl, winning Clemson's only national title...all orange...

Orange - 27

Baby Blue - 6

Arkansas at Ole Miss

Texas A&M-Iowa State got bumped over this game.  I didn't realize Iowa State still played football.  Houston Nutt gets blasted by his former team.

Hogs - 30

Rebs - 7 

Tennessee at Alabama

Trent Richardson...2011 Heisman Trophy Winner...everybody say it with me.  Tyler Bray, Tyler Perry, William the Refrigerator Perry, Texas Governer Rick Perry, Justin Hunter, Catfish Hunter, Justin Timberlake and former ECW Heavyweight Champion Justin Credible could all be 100% healthy and suited up for the Big Orange, and it wouldn't matter...although Texas Governer Rick Perry would probably give an entertaining yet slightly incoherent pep talk during pre-game.

Tide - 31

Vols - 7 

Georgia Tech at Miami

Illinois-Purdue barely missed the cut here.  I can already hear Lionel bitching about his boy Zook being left out.  I have one letter and one word for your boy Lionel...F Zook.  I hate Miami too, but recently they've had a knack for slowing down Georgia Tech's option attack. 

Canes - 26

Wrecked - 17

Wake Forest at Duke

This game got the nod over Indiana-Iowa...or did it?

Cleaning Out The Gutters - 45

Watching Either Game - 3


Wisconsin at Michigan State
Alright, now this should actually be an entertaining game.  Sparty's got a great defense and Wisconsin at times is unstoppable on offense.  But please spare me the talk about Russell Wilson being a Heisman frontrunner.  He's an excellent player, but the level of competition makes him look better than he really is.  Troy Smith agrees with me.  Sooner or later there's gonna be an upset in college football folks.
Sparty - 28
Bucky - 27

Texas Tech at Oklahoma

Nebraska-Minnesota...sorry.  America doesn't need to be subjected to watching a grown man succumb to a seizure on the sideline after Rex Burkhead scores his 5th TD in the second quarter.  Let's watch to see if Oklahoma has any chinks in their armor before my adopted Oklahoma State Cowboys wreck their season.

Sooners - 42

Red Raiders - 24

Washington at Stanford

Oregon-Colorado...you're cut.  Oregon doesn't need LaMichael James this week, and Colorado stopped recruiting L.A. gang members who bang the coach's daughter a long time ago.  I'll go with Andrew Luck throwing for 749 yards and 12 TDs against a Washington team that won't be ranked after Saturday.

Cardinal - 84

Huskies - 17

Jacksonville State at Kentucky

Southern Cal-Notre Dame...you're cut.  This so-called national rivalry is now irrelevant.  Besides, how many opportunities do I get to pick Kentucky?

Wix's Wildcats - 7

Duval County State - 6 (3OT)

Maryland at Florida State

The only drama this series produced recently is whether or not Myron Rolle would make it back from his Rhodes Scholar interview in time to take poor pursuit angles all night long.  FSU crushes Maryland in front of 30,000 empty seats.

Wix's Seminoles - 28

Scott Van Pelt U - 10

Amount of Money Wix saved by staying in Orlando - $583.92

and finally...

Auburn at LSU

Apparently Honey Badger really doesn't give a shit...and he's uncharacteristically mellow...and he's craving a big ass bowl of Fruity Pebbles at 3:00 in the morning.  College students smoke weed you say?  Entitled student athletes who get tons of national publicity feel like they're above it all?  You gotdamn right they do. 

Not that it matters, because Charles Barkley's Auburn Tigers are indeed turrble, but if you're Les Miles you have to be concerned with your kids being somewhat distracted while patiently waiting for November 5th to roll around.  Then again if you're Les Miles, you're probably wondering why Gatorade keeps raining from the sky inside of a domed stadium.

Can a brother get a sippy cup?

Up In Smeauxke - 23

We Juss Turrble - 9

Be good.

eG

Broken Ankles and Golden Tickets

Normally I hate to see black on black crime but Trent Richardson's vicious abuse of Senquez Golston's ankles in the Grove this weekend was a thing of beauty. It kinda made me grin, bounce in my seat and clap my hands (somewhere eViL and Scottie Ray are smiling -- I miss the good old days)

Junk n' stuff I learnt this weekend...

Trent Richardson is an inhuman beast... I never cease to be amazed by his ability produce after first, second and sometimes third contact. I'm not saying they will give him the Heisman but if he stays healthy (prayers) and keeps doing what he does, he should be in the mix. I've always thought he was the best running in the country but with Marcus Lattimore's unfortunate injury there is no longer any doubt (at least at this point in the season).

** RELATED NOTE: MAJOR props to the BAMA O-line for playing like men and making the inhuman beast a bit more inhuman. Please send some of their game film to the team that plays on Sundays in western Pennsylvania.

Bama's other running backs are "baby beasts" in training... Eddy Lacy, Jalston Fowler and Blake Sims also absorb first contact and still keep churning. Not sure what they are feeding these guys down in Tuscaloosa but we will need this tough depth as we go deeper in the season.

***GOLDEN TICKET ALERT***: My LSU ticket is in JEOPARDY WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!... my best friend/fellow filmmaker/de facto ticket broker/parole officer and I have attended key Bama games together for 25 years but we have a problem. His dad (who is very ill) is attempting to travel to the game from out of town and they desperately need to do some bonding. So this puts me in the tough position of having to... DRIVE A FREAKIN' WEDGE BETWEEN AN AILING MAN AND HIS SON. There is no way, I'm going to let some father son bond keep me from going to this game. With that said, I've begun to remind my friend of all the times his dad didn't: 1) let me come out to play 2) ever get him that motorcycle he always wanted 3) let him play football 4) ever let him borrow his car etc., etc. I'm not saying I'm proud of this but a guy has gotta to do what he's gotta do PERIOD!!

Roll

Florida Basketball; It's Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic

First things first, that phrase is copyrighted (c) 1998 by Lionel Forbes. Let's just get that out in the open. Someday, on another blog not dedicated to college football, I'll get into it more in depth. eViL G has instructed me that I am allowed to talk about ONE topic other than college football per contribution. Therefore...FOOOTBAWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I bring you greetings from the LOVELY Myrtle Beach Convention Center Hotel. Had I know that Stephen Garcia was free, I'd give him a call and we'd burn this sonofagun down.

This week, I'd like give a special shout out to the fighting Zookers of Illinois. As previously stated in my intro, my love for coach Zook knows no bounds. I'd spend some additional time explaining my reasons why, but I'm sure that if I did, eViL G would snatch me up out of this window like Batman did the bad guy in 'The Dark Knight'. I'm glad that Zooker has gotten the ability to go shopping, cook the dinner, withstand a couple of stomach bugs that may, or may not have been his fault, and is now able to serve it without any sort of issues.  With that said, he's about to enter what most are calling (and by most, I just mean myself) as the "Florida Gauntlet" They face 3 top 25 programs coming up over the next month (Michigan and Wisconsin in the top 10) 

If all goes well, the Ron Zook led Illinois Fightin' Zookers will find themselves in the catbird seat for the Rose Bowl (which is the equivalent of what the Sugar Bowl means to Gator fans) So with that said, good luck to the Zookers, I'll always be rooting for you. May the sun always shine brightly upon your face, may there always be a breeze at your back, and may you always be a bubble screen or reverse-quarterback option away from victory.

- FlawdaGator aka Kid Dy-No-Mite, aka No, I'm not related to Rerun from 'What's Happening'

eViL G's Weekly Picks for October 15th



Exhibit A

Greetings from the Sunshine State.  This week's sponsors include, but are not limited to, just about any product or service whose target audience does not have a penis...Cooking Light Magazine, the Oprah Winfrey Network, Michael Buble's next CD, you name it.

What used to be the Ike Turner Memorial Bachelor Pad (2003-2007) has been invaded, infiltrated and downright liberated by mRs. eViL G's younger sister and niece, who flew down from Buffalo Wednesday morning for a long weekend in God's Country.

If you're scoring at home, that's a female-to-male ratio of 4:1 once you factor in the wife and stepdaughter. This place is oozing with estrogen and other unexplained hormones, so for the most part I've been on my best behavior.  The last time this many women were in my cozy little condo, I was not married. That's all I have to say about that, because I am happily married.

Under normal circumstances I'd probably make some sexist comment about expecting a hot meal and a clean house when I get home from work, but my mother reads this blog and I'm not trying to get throat punched in a couple weeks when we head home for the annual Cocktail Party in Jacksonville.  Therefore I would ask that you refer to Exhibit A. 

I didn't say it mama, so don't throat punch the messenger.

That's all I got...

PICKS!!

Georgia at Vanderbilt

Florida State at Duke

Alabama at Ole Miss

LSU at Tennessee 

Speaking of 4:1 ratios, I'm doing a 4-for-1 pick here, because these four matchups are all essentially the same game. The home team gets mauled by a superior opponent, with the possible exception of UGA looking average against a better than usual, yet still average Vandy squad. Tennessse fans, good luck against LSU without your starting QB and top playmaker, and welcome to my world.  Take the average score of each game, and you get...

Road Team - 41.75

Home Team - 12.25

Ohio State at Illinois

The Fighting Zookers are undefeated and bowl eligible, but they've got an upcoming gauntlet of Penn State, Michigan and Wisconsin looming in a couple weeks.  Ohio State's QB is expected to play after spraining his ankle last week, but Illinois is playing at home and Zook has a knack for knocking off the Buckeyes more often than he should.

Illini - 23

Buckeyes - 21

South Carolina at Mississippi State

Earlier this week we all learned the answer to the age-old question, "How many failed drug tests does it take to get kicked off South Carolina's football team?". Now that we know the answer, you can expect several current UF players to request a transfer. Spurrier exorcises his Starkville demons while Dan Mullen's rose loses a few more blooms. The big maroon honeymoon is just about over.

Goodbye Garcia - 19

Hello Losing Season - 3

Oklahoma State at Texas

The current state of Texas football is somewhat similar to my beloved Gators, in that they're breaking in a bunch of freshmen in key positions, the coaching staff went though some transition and they just got pounded by the best team(s) in their region.  Mack Brown is also extremely overrated, in spite of Colin Cowherd's mancrush.  Mark my words, Oklahoma State will give Oklahoma all they can handle next month.  And like Oklahoma, they'll pound the snot out of Texas on Saturday.

Pokes - 42

Horns - 17

Arizona State at Oregon

My contract with Blogger states that I must pick at least three PAC-12 games throughout the season, so here goes.  Oregon beats Arizona State in spite of LaMichael James sitting this one out.  One down, two to go...

Ducks - 41

Sun Devils - 23

And finally....

Florida at Auburn

The NCAA cleared Auburn of any wrongdoing in the recruitment of Cam Newton. The NCAA also found nothing suspicious about Casey Anthony's alleged involvement in her daughter's death. The NCAA expects the NBA lockout to end later this evening.  The NCAA prefers Ginger to Mary Anne, and despite millions of dollars spent on advertising, marketing and product packaging, the NCAA still actually believes it IS butter.

The NCAA thinks Florida's offense is a well-oiled machine, and the NCAA was recently quoted as saying, "UF's defensive front has really lived up to the pre-season hype...Ronald Powell is a sure-fire Butkus Award finalist".  The NCAA views Auburn as a poster child for compliance, much like the NCAA views Charlie Weis as the poster child for wellness.  The NCAA describes Will Muschamp's sideline demeanor as "poised and stoic".

The NCAA thinks Florida beats Auburn by a touchdown Saturday night.  I think otherwise. 

Orange & Navy Blue - 24

Orange & Royal Blue - 16

Be good.

eG