Miami's Vices

I've intentionally taken some time to digest all the information coming out of Coral Gables, so as not to offer a emotional, knee-jerk reaction. That's what my weekly picks are for. And just so there's no confusion among some of you Hurricane fans, Coral Gables is where the University of Miami is actually located, not Sun Life Stadium.

What's telling about this whole fiasco is not what's been alleged by Nevin Shapiro, it's the reaction of former players, coaches and anyone who stood to gain financially or professionally from being associated with Nevin Shapiro. No one is saying, "Never met the guy....never seen his house....never been on his boat....he's lying about everything"....NO ONE. To a man, from former coach Jimmy Johnson to former players like Jonathan Vilma, they've all attacked Shapiro's credibility in spite of evidence presented in the Yahoo Sports article.

For you Miami fans who never bothered to go watch the Canes play, let alone stepped foot on campus or enrolled in a single class, this is called a "diversionary tactic". Google it and read the results before blindly supporting Da U. Read the Yahoo article while you're at it.  The article has plenty of pictures so you can follow along.

For you Miami alums and season ticket holders, people who actually support the program, please accept my condolences. Your Canes are fucked.

This Shapiro cat did his dirt for nearly a decade, right under the nose of Miami's athletic department and top administrators. The UM brass also failed to notice Shapiro was a stakeholder in a sports management agency that represented several high profile Canes after they went pro.

Essentially UM's administration enabled a guy who illegally brought in big-time recruits, kept them knee-deep in hookers and cash during their UM playing days, then made money off the few elite kids good enough to go pro. To show their appreciation, the UM brass allowed Shapiro to lead the team out of the tunnel and named a building after him.

Lack of institutional control? Try lack of institutional competency...lack of a clue. Worst case Miami's athletic department is guilty of just not giving a damn as long as Shapiro's donor checks cleared. Either way UM will pay dearly.

Southern Cal got hammered over paying OJ Mayo and Reggie Bush. Jim Tressel lost his job for covering up a "tattoos for memorabilia" barter deal involving no more than a half dozen Ohio State players. How much is a Big 10 championship ring worth...a butterfly tattoo? 

Meanwhile, the body count in Coral Gables is currently 72 players, and Shapiro's tab for this 8-year party has to be in the millions. SMU didn't spend anywhere near this much for talent.

Should Miami get the death penalty?  Yes they should, if for no other reason no one at UM in a position to stop Nevin Shapiro bothered to do so.  Throw in Miami's repeat offender status, coupled with the NCAA waiving the 4-year statute of limitations under the "willful violator" clause, there's a strong case for shutting down the program for a year.

Whether or not the death penalty happens is in the hands of an organization with about as much dirty laundry as UM's athletic department, right down to the head enforcement honcho who just so happened to be in charge of Miami's athletic department when Shapiro did his dirt.  Do us a favor and step down Paul Dee...you have about as much credibility as Michelle Bachmann wishing Elvis Presley a Happy Birthday last week.

As for you Miami, whatever penalties come your way, you earned them.  Congratulations from your good friends in Gainesville and Tallahassee.  As I understand it, Casey Anthony's legal team is available to work another miracle.  You might want to give Jose Baez a call.

Conference realignment is the hot topic du jour, or at least is WAS until Yahoo Sports broke the Miami story, and from the looks of things the only sure survivors once all the smoke clears will be the Big 10, PAC-12 and the Southeastern Conference. 

Texas appears to hold all the cards, but I could care less what they do or where they go.  The NCAA's top athletic budget is worth exactly one football national championship since 1970.  Consider those of us in SEC country unimpressed.  Go independent for all we care...it's done wonders for Notre Dame's football program recently.

Speaking of the SEC, there’s speculation about Florida State, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, Missouri and Clemson stepping up in weight class.  Texas A&M makes sense…Texas isn’t exactly playing fair with the TV money, the SEC gets to mess with the state of Texas AND begin laying the groundwork for re-negotiating that fat TV deal with ESPN and CBS.  I’m cool with that. 

Hell, add Missouri while we’re at it….the West could use a new Vanderbilt now that Dan Mullen has it rolling in Starkville. 

Oklahoma appears to be tied to the hip with Texas, but I wouldn't be surprised if they went west to PAC-12 or east to the SEC depending on how greedy Texas gets. 

Clemson?  See Missouri, but with better recruits and worse coaching.

As for Florida State, contrary to popular belief, some Gator fans are in favor of FSU joining the SEC.  This UF alum would welcome those bastard savages with open arms.  I want them to understand first-hand why no one in the SEC will ever finish ranked in the Top 5 for 14 consecutive years.  I want them to deal with LSU, Georgia, Auburn and UF in consecutive weeks.  I want them to wonder how 30,000 Alabama fans managed to get tickets inside their stadium.  Come on and join the Big Boy party….we’re waiting.

I haven't weighed in on the train wreck going on in Miami, but as I understand it the Sun Belt Conference will extend the Canes an invitation once the NCAA finishes up their investigation.

Stay tuned....

What Did I Miss?



Wanna get away?



Greetings everyone!

Having spent a long weekend in beautiful Key West, and after taking off the entire off-season…what an eventful off-season it was…eViLG is back in the saddle, here to give you one man’s humble, subjective and deliciously fallible opinions on this soap opera known as college football.

I don’t even know where to start....but just know I'm back, along with Coach E and Alabama superfan Keith "Did we really lose 3 games last year?" Edwards.

I'll weigh in on the Miami fiasco, conference realignment, the plot to assassinate Joe Paterno, Will Muschamp's beer gut and much more.

Until then, be good.

2010-11 Bowl Picks Edition

Happy New Years Eve everyone.

I hope all of you had a Happy Holidays with friends and family, and I trust that you will all celebrate responsibily later this evening.

It's almost noon, so I'm up against a Sun Bowl deadline....but I have to give some love to Derek Dooley and the Tennessee Volunteers.  Derek Dooley is the first coach in NCAA history to lose two games he won in the same season.  This guy is the anti-Les Miles.  Hell, Derek Dooley totally explains Les Miles.  That whole life balance, yin-yang thing...it all makes sense now.

Blame the refs all day long Vol fans...make an extra point and we're having a different discussion.  I do think the head referee was premature in calling the game over...you HAVE to review that spike play...and I also think college football should adopt the NFL's ten second run-off in situations like we saw last night.  But from a pure entertainment standpoint, that game was about as good as it gets.  The Music City Bowl should win an ESPY for Biggest Clusterfuck of a Bowl Game Involving Teams with Pastel Colors.

Be safe everyone....

PICKS!!!

Sun Bowl
Miami vs. Notre Dame
Catholics vs. Convicts revisited?  Waking up the echoes while grooving to some 2Live Crew booty music?  Hardly.  Reuniting these two teams, at this point in their respective histories, in El Paso, Texas....it has the same charm as watching Terry Funk wrestle Arn Anderson at the Charlotte/Mecklenberg County Fair.  Both was well past their respective primes, and for the most part no one cares.
Convicts - 26
Catholics - 14


Liberty Bowl
Georgia vs. Central Florida
The home team squares off against my most hated rival on the planet.  UCF was arguably Florida's best college football team, and they have a future star in QB Jeff Godfrey.  This is an emotional pick, one that'll likely come back to bite me in the ass, but I get the feeling UGA isn't all that motivated, and UCF is eager for a little national respect.
Black and Gold - 24
Red and Black - 21


Chik Fil'a Bowl
South Carolina vs. Florida State
Speaking of most hated rivals, the ole ball corch reunites with the team that owned him during his glory days in Gainesville.  FSU is on a steady rise, getting the UF monkey off their back in addition to making some serious noise on the recruiting trail.  The Seminoles are indeed back....but South Carolina is better.  The Cocks will have the best running back and receiver on the field, and their defense is superior.  Spurrier beats Bowden  Fisher.
Chickens - 34
Savages - 17


Gator Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Michigan
Odd pairing of a traditional power with a traditional doormat.  Mississippi State officially locked down Dan Mullen for another 4 years, while Rich Rod could be shown the door any day now.  Similar to the UCF-UGA game, one team is fired up to be there while the other wonders what the hell they're doing playing Mississippi State. 
Miss State - 17
Meatchicken - 16


Capital One Bowl
Alabama vs. Michigan State
Michigan State's 1-loss season isn't as impressive as it looks, and Alabama's 4th place finish in the SEC West isn't as bad as it looks...unless of course you're an Alabama fan.  I usually catch this game, thanks to free food and booze from my employer, but on this day I'll be in Tampa enjoying food and booze with some very good friends.  Michigan State's highlight of the day will be their marching band's kick step entrance.  Bama sleepwalks through the first half before waking up.
Tide - 30
Spartans - 13


Outback Bowl
Florida vs. Penn State
I'm tempted to do a reverse mojo pick here, but it's wasted on this game.  Nothing I've seen from Penn State this season concerns me...and if UF can't get up for Urban Meyer's last game then they deserve to lose.  In spite of everything that's wrong with the 2010 Florida Gators, I refuse to believe a 7-5 Penn State team is any better.
Crocs - 21
Lions - 10


Rose Bowl
Wisconsin vs. TCU
Can TCU stop Wisconsin's punishing rush attack?  Can Wisconsin stop super ginger Andy Dalton and TCU's aerial attack?  Stay tuned...this game has me totally baffled.  I've never thought much of Wisconsin as a national power, and TCU crapped the bed last year against Boise State.  If I had money to bet on this game, I'd take the over, and I'd take the team from the big boy conference.
Badgers - 41
Frogs - 38


Fiesta Bowl
Oklahoma vs. Connecticut
This would have been a great basketball game 3 years ago...Blake Griffin vs. Hasheem Thabeet.  Hell, UConn-Oklahoma in womens hoops is 100 times more entertaining than this garbage matchup.  There should be a performance clause in the BCS bylaws.  If your conference champion continues to get beaten senseless on college football's biggest stage, you lose your automatic bid.  Yeah I know it will never happen, but we can dream can't we?
Sooners - 45
Huskies - 10


Orange Bowl
Virginia Tech vs. Stanford
Andrew Luck is getting lots of love lately.  Stanford was one bad night in Eugene from getting destroyed by Auburn in the national title game.  Meanwhile the Hokies are only the hottest team in college football.  I like the team who had the least distance to travel.  Tech is becoming an Orange Bowl regular.
Hokies - 27
Cardinal - 17


Sugar Bowl
Arkansas vs. Ohio State
Just when you thought the NCAA couldn't be more inconsistent....they sit on Tattoo Gate for a year, then allow the kids to play the bowl game.  Really?  Who cares about next season?  If all this stuff happened when the NCAA says it did, the Ohio State players in question should have missed five games this past season.  Right A.J. Green?  Meanwhile, no one is talking about Arkansas, and that's just fine with them. 
Hogs - 34
SEC's Bitch - 24


Cotton Bowl
LSU vs. Texas A&M
When the next round of conference re-alignment happens, expect these two teams to face off every year.  I don't know much about Texas A&M, but they don't have a prayer against Les Miles and his evil brand of college football sorcery.
LSU - 38
TAMU - 13


And finally....


BCS National Championship Game
Auburn vs. Oregon
How seriously is Oregon taking the BCS national championship game?  They're unveiling new uniforms to be worn specially for the big game.  A man much wiser than me once said, "The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that is laughable is vanity."  Memo to Oregon:  Your uniforms are ugly, and glow-in-the-dark neon green socks won't make you play defense any better.

No matter how you attempt to break this game down, you inevitably come to the conclusion that Auburn will obliterate Oregon.  It's science....it's preordained...it's the motherf**king Southeastern Conference.  It is what it is.

Auburn has the better defense, the better QB and better offensive line.  Period.  I can't come up with a scenario where Oregon wins this game....outside of AU turning the ball over 3-4 times...mixed in with Oregon blocking a punt and recovering the opening onside kickoff. 

Defense wins championships.  Auburn has one, Oregon doesn't.

Auburn - 52
Oregon - 24

Be good.

 

Legends and Leaders? BUAHAHAHA!!!

As if the Southeastern Conference needed another reason to laugh hysterically at the Big 10. It's not enough that you're our bitch in BCS title games. It's not enough that your last national championship required the mother of all pass interference calls...five seconds after the play. It's not enough that you crap the bed on TV's biggest stage year after year. It's even cliché to make light of the fact that you still refer to yourselves as the Big 10 even though you now have 12 member schools.

Legends and Leaders? The Big 10 has had over a year to figure this out, and with all those excellent institutions of higher learning in the Big 10, that's the best you got? 

Wow, just wow.....Legends and Leaders.

Now I give the Big 10 credit for what appears to be a fair and equal distribution of contenders in each division; Michigan/Nebraska/Iowa on one side and Ohio State/Penn State/Wisconsin on the other. But those division names sound like a Harry Potter book, or a Tony Robbins seminar. It makes you wonder what names missed the cut.

Well, wonder no more. Thanks to the crack research staff here at eViL G and Coach E's Football Forum, we were able to get our hands on that list.

Here are your "Top 10 Rejected Big 10 Division Names":

10. "SEC Victims" and "Future SEC Victims"

9. "Slow" and "Slower"

8. "STFU" and "GTFO"

7. "Six In One" and "Half a Dozen In the Other"

6. "Peaches" and "Herb"

5. "Yogi" and "Boo Boo"

4. "BCS Bowl Loser" and "Outback Bowl Loser"

3. "George" and "Weezie"

2. "Ndamukong" and "Biakabatuka"

And finally...

1. "Please Be Michigan" And "Please Be Ohio State"