eViL G's Weekly Picks - October 6 Edition

Corndogs vs. Jorts....Coonasses vs. Crocs....Go vs. Geaux...

Greetings from Central Florida, where I'm watching Southern Cal implode against Utah...and loving every minute of it.  There's no way this score holds up, but if it does I look forward to Colin Cowherd making more excuses for his boy toy Lane Kiffin. 

That's all I got this week.  No time for small talk...the day job requires my immediate attention.  I'm glad it's finally October, now we get knee deep into conference play. 

I just hope my Gators give a better showing this Saturday than the President did last night.

PICKS!!

Miami at Notre Dame

The Canes and Irish invade Chicago, a city familiar with Catholics, convicts, Irish people (the majority of which are Catholic) and the occasional high winds.  Miami is undefeated in A She She play, and judging by the other five garbage teams in their division, the A She She might finally get that FSU-Miami matchup in the title game.  It's only fitting the game is in Charlotte now...FSU fans don't travel anymore and Miami fans never did.  The couple dozen Miami fans who traveled to Chicago will get treated to an ass whuppin' by the Irish, followed by an epic beatdown by the NCAA.  Miami's athletic director just left Coral Gables for a new gig in Lincoln, Nebraska.  He left South Florida voluntarily to move to Nebraska.  Think about that for a second.

ND - 28

Da U - 10

West Virginia at Texas

Please forgive us down here in SEC Country if we don't seem all that impressed with Geno Smith's Xbox numbers last week.  But we aren't all that impressed with Geno Smith's Xbox numbers last week.  The Big 12 plays defense about as well as I play golf, and I haven't picked up a club in about six years.  Besides, Geno Smith's been the starting QB at West Virginia since Pacman Jones was a freshman attempting to make it rain with a roll of nickels.  You should be pretty good by now Geno.  Texas is back in the Top 10, and their defense is slightly better than Baylor.  Welcome to the Big 12 WVU.

Horns - 35

WVU - 29

Washington at Oregon

Wahsington beat Stanford, who beat USC, who is currently losing 21-10 to Utah, who lost in overtime to Utah State.  Oregon has shiny helmets.  I hate PAC-12 football.  Oregon scores a point for each of their uniform combinations.

Ducks - 84

Huskies - 21

Georgia at South Carolina

I'm not sure what to make of Georgia.  Playing an emotionally fragile Tennessee squad, with all their defensive studs back from various parole violations, the Dawgs let Big Orange hang around long enough to earn Derek Dooley a three-year contract extension...resulting in spontaneous celebrations from Gainesville to Starkville.  (End dream sequence...)  USC East didn't appear to be all that motivated to play Kentucky last week, and who can blame them.  I'd be looking ahead to Georgia too.  I'm tempted to pick the home team, but I think Aaron Murray is the better QB, and he has more playmakers around him.  I reserve the right to be completely wrong.

Dawgs - 28

Cocks - 23

...and finally

LSU at Florida

What a difference a month makes.  Back on September 4th Gator Nation braced itself for three months of irrelevance, followed by an Outback/Gator/Music City Bowl bid against Purdue.  Meanwhile in Baton Rouge, LSU was ranked #1 in the Coaches Poll, and looked every bit the part of a pissed off team ready to redeem itself after shitting the bed against Alabama in New Orleans.

One month and two impressive road wins later, some notable talking heads are actually picking UF to beat LSU, and I'm referring to UF's head coach by his given name, William Frederick Rerun Stubbs Muschamp.  We've come a long way from getting taunted on national television by LSU's punter.

Both teams feature inexperienced QBs, stout defenses and outstanding kickers.  Fans of both teams are cautiously optimistic.  Two of our best defenders Dominique Easley and Jelani Jenkins are back from injury, providing ammunition to the theory that boys named after strippers are much more likely to be stud athletes than boys named, say, Brian Heald.

I expect an ugly, low scoring, old school SEC defensive struggle.  LSU has a stable full of monster running backs to take the pressure off their inconsistent QB.  LSU's defensive line appears to have a decided advantage against UF's solid but unspectacular offensive line, and in my opinion this is where UF falls short.

Who am I kidding...the obvious intentional reverse mojo pick is in play here, and there's no point in justifying it.  I'm picking UF to lose because when I do, UF usually wins. 

It's science.

LSU - 17

UF - 16