Thursday, December 31, 2015

eViL G's 2015-16 Bowl Picks


Happy New Year’s Eve!
 
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, Fesitvus, Hanukkah or whatever holiday you choose to celebrate…it’s all good.  Believing in something is half the battle.
 
Central Florida was treated to a rare Coach E visit this past week, and it was absolutely glorious.  Coach E’s baby boy is a 6-3 stud of an athlete who will save his parents thousands of dollars on a college education in a few years.  He’s that good.  Coach E’s daughter is not allowed to date until she’s 40.  She’s that cute.  Our wives drank plenty of wine, which made Coach E and I appear infinitely more attractive...it was a great visit. 
 
Now I’m up against a deadline on FSU-Houston, so let’s get to it. 
 
Celebrate responsibly tonight.
 
PICKS!!
 
Chick FilA Spicy Chicken Sandwich Peach Bowl
Houston vs. Florida State
I predict FSU's starting QB goes down with a nasty achilles injury in the first quarter after Houston takes an early lead.  YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!! (So yeah, I missed that deadline...) 
Cougars – 21
Noles - 20
 
Buffalo Wild Wings Lemon Pepper Seasoning Citrus Bowl
Florida vs. Michigan
In what can only be described as a lapse in judgment, I’ll attend this game knowing full well UF’s offense will make my eyes bleed at least once before halftime.  Thankfully club seats and a hospitality passes will help ease the pain.  Free alcohol is truly a blessing from Jesus Christ, Santa Claus and Morgan Freeman.  Michigan owns Florida in the Citrus Bowl, and I don’t see that changing tomorrow considering Treon Harris is still our starting QB.
Meatchicken – 37
Flawda - 14
 
Outback Victoria Filet Bowl
Tennessee vs. Northwestern
A new deadly strain of Volsheimers is breaking out over near the strip clubs on Dale Mabry in Tampa.  Ask any infected Tennessee fan…the Vols would absolutely murder the Gators right now, and the ONLY reason UF beat Tennessee back in September was due to Will Grier’s dependence on cocaine, bath salts and horse tranquilizers.  Oh, and Tennessee is totally going to win this bowl game, the national title game next season, the gold medal in equestrian at the Olympics in Brazil next summer, AND the Academy Award for Best Supporting SEC Team with Unrealistic Expectations. 
Northwestern - 30
Tennessee - 21
 
...and finally
 
Capital One Orange Bowl
#4 Oklahoma vs. #1 Clemson
Three Clemson players were suspended before the biggest game Clemson’s played in over 35 years.  Eugene Robinson is impressed (Google him young people…night before the Super Bowl in Miami, prostitutes, good times).  Clemson destroyed Oklahoma in last year’s Orange Bowl.  Oklahoma hasn’t forgotten.  Baker Mayfield hasn’t forgotten.  Bob Stoops hasn’t forgotten.  We've waited all year for Clemson to pull a Clemson.  Tonight it finally happens...Clemson's starting kicker is suspended.  Clemson loses by a kick.
Sooners - 35
Tigers - 34
 
Goodyear Cotton Bowl
#3 Michigan State vs. #2 Alabama
Two teams, virtual mirror images of each other.  Nick Saban even coached at Michigan State.  Mike Dantonio’s had more success at Michigan State than Nick Saban.  Michigan State had the miracle play against Michigan suggesting they’re a team of destiny.  You know what Michigan State doesn’t have?  Derrick Henry, Calvin Ridley and the nastiest defense I’ve seen since Florida’s 2008  national championship team.  Michigan State is good, Alabama is better.
Tide – 23
Sparty – 15
 
Happy New Year!
eG

1 comment:

  1. Well, together you're infinitely smarter than apart. However, not sure FSU lays an egg. If they do, yall two should stay together, handicap fb and steal the rolls of every bookie in Florida.

    ReplyDelete