Thursday, August 29, 2013

eViL G's Labor Day Weekend Picks

Just give him the Heisman so no one gets hurt.
Happy Labor Day Weekend Eve Everyone.

The first picks column of 2013 comes to you on location at a Dunkin' Donuts near the Orlando Airport.  The coffee is cheap and wi-fi is free. 

It's tough enough to meet a deadline with high profile Thursday night games, let alone Thursday night games starting at 6:00.  I have a day job ESPN...WTF?

Let's do this....


North Carolina at South Carolina
If you need a reason to leave the office early, beat rush hour traffic to get settled in front of your 50" flat screen TV by 6:00, it doesn't get better than watching Jadaveon Clowney go all Cloverfield against North Carolina's offense.  UNC's best chance to win this game declared early for the NFL Draft, and can now be seen on HBO's Hard Knocks driving his girlfriend's mother's mini-van to the Cincinnati Bengals practice facility.  South Carolina makes a statement tonight folks. 
Cocks - 37
Heels - 13

Alabama vs. Virginia Tech
Didn't we see this train wreck four years ago, at the same so-called neutral site?  Virginia Tech is trending in the wrong direction, while Bama's about to re-write history.
Tide - 44
Turkeys - 17

Toledo at Florida
Man, what a difference a year makes.  Around this time last year most of Gator Nation was in full-on Zook mode, right down to firming up New Years Day plans to attend another Outback Bowl.  I know a bunch of you pervs were looking forward to spending New Years Eve on Dale Mabry.  Thankfully we scrapped those plans after winning 11 games, at which point the entire UF fan base chose not to attend the Sugar Bowl...brilliant move in hindsight.  The 12:21 kickoff sucks for the fans, but it sucks worse for a bunch of oversized kids from Toledo not used to Gainesville humidity in August.  In true Muschamp style, UF wins ugly, but UF wins.
Gators - 28
Rockets - 17

LSU vs. Texas Christian
Both schools wear purple...that's about all I know about these teams.  Lots of new faces on LSU's defense, but they can all ball.  TCU was picked to finish 2nd behind Texas in the Big 12, which means they'd be looking up at no fewer than six SEC schools.  LSU is in the Top 6.
Tigers - 23
Frogs - 17

Florida State at Pitt
I've got no love for FSU, but I can't wait to see this hot shot freshman QB.  His last name is Winston (great name by the way), and from all accounts he's more Charlie Ward than Adrian McPherson...or Xavier Lee.  We won't know until FSU plays some real competition. 
Noles - 21
Panthers - 10

And finally...

Georgia at Clemson
This week’s marquee game features two fine programs with a rich history and tradition of underachieving on the game’s biggest stage.  My feelings towards Georgia are well documented; I hate them more than Kevin Hart hates Robin Thicke.  I have a tougher time fostering significant hatred towards Clemson, because at some point Clemson pulls a Clemson, at which point they cease being nationally relevant…out of sight, out of mind.

Very impressive Clemson.

The last national title for either school came within a year of each other…33 years ago.  UGA is the last SEC big boy program without a national title in the BCS era, while Clemson's resorted to recognizing co-A She She Atlantic Division Championships in Death Valley Junior…even though they lost head-to-head to eventual A She She champ Florida State.  It makes sense when you consider Clemson’s won the A She She title once in the past 20 years.

Last time we saw Georgia, they were busy pulling a Clemson in the SEC title game.  SPIKE THE BALL AARON MURRAY!!!  LOL!!!  UGA lost just about everyone on defense, but they return plenty of offensive firepower.  Todd Gurley is a beast.  Other than Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins I don’t know much about Clemson, other than they’re Clemson, and as such they’re good for about two inexplicable losses per season, in addition to the games they’re supposed to lose.

History suggests it’s too early in the season for Clemson to pull a Clemson, and they’re playing at home.  But I’m still not sold on Clemson, because they’re Clemson.

Worst case, the early season reverse mojo results in a UGA loss, in which case we all win...but I have faith in my enemy to get the job done.

Georgia – 28
Clemson – 27

Be good.

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