Friday, November 27, 2015

eViL G's 2015 Hate Week Picks

"Everyone calm the fuck down.  I got this." 
- Jim McElwain
Happy Hate Week?
Normally this is the week I cuss, bitch and moan about all the things I hate…apologizing to my mother for sounding like a Def Comedy Jam stand-up routine and whatnot.
This year is different.
We just finished a kick ass Thanksgiving family dinner with the UCF crew.
Coach E is alive and well…his baby boy who took a dump in my lap 15 years ago is now a 1st team all-state defensive back, and he's only a sophomore.

Gas is under $2 a gallon, the stock market recovered from that little dip a couple months ago, and eViL G’s day job is keeping the bills paid and then some.
As I type this the greatest movie of all time, Despicable Me 2 is on FX.

I’m trying to muster up some good old fashioned hate, and it just ain’t happening.
Life is good…real good…so good I’m flipping the script and turning Hate Week into Love Week.
“I ain’t mad at all…”
– Flavor Flav, 1994
North Carolina at NC State
My views on Roy Williams and UNC Basketball are well documented.  As long as Roy Williams draws a paycheck in Chapel Hill, I pray that Baby Jesus makes Roy Coach K’s bitch twice a year every year until Roy takes his ball and goes home.  UNC football is another story…there’s a freshman offensive lineman taking a redshirt this season who will one day change the world.  His name is William Sweet.  Mel Kiper will know his name by this time next year.  UNC isn’t getting much playoff love, but that all changes once the Tar Heels crush NC State tomorrow and shock Clemson next week.  That’s right, I said it.
Tar Heels 34
Wolfpack 14
Ohio State at Michigan
Urban Meyer never handled losing well, so I’ll take great delight in watching that fragile little bitch deal with it two weeks in a row.  NO PLAYOFF FOR YOU!!
Michigan 24
Ohio State 21
Georgia at Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech kicked FSU in the nuts a month ago, so I got nothing but love for them.  Despite being 8-3 and headed to another respectable bowl game, Georgia football is a dumpster fire because Mark Richt can’t sniff a national title.  I’m cool with whoever wins this game.  A Georgia win puts them on track for the 10-win season everyone predicted back in August.  Hopefully it keeps Mark Richt employed.
UGA 17
Tech 14
Texas A&M at LSU
Word on the street is LSU's big money donors raised upwards of $20 million to buy out Les Miles' contract.  His day job is better than my day job, and yours.  One could speculate about the sanity of LSU's athletic director...or you could deduce LSU already has Jimbo Fisher waiting in the wings.  How else do you explain such a willingness to fire, at worst, the SEC's 3rd best coach?  It makes no sense.  Outside of an unexpected loss to Auburn, Texas A&M is right about where we expected them to be...competitive but not championship material.  LSU wins, Les Miles gets fired anyway, resulting in Kevin Sumlin drinking heavily and FSU fans getting really nervous.
Geaux - 38
Gig 'Em - 21

Alabama at Auburn
Blame Nick Saban for all of this madness.  He's got Alabama playing championship caliber the point where Les Miles, Mark Richt and Kevin Sumlin could all be unemployed in a couple weeks.  That's complete lunacy.  I can't wait to see Derrick Henry run over, around and through Will Muschamp's so-called defense.  Fuck that guy.
Roll Tide 38
War Chicken 14
…and finally
Florida State at Florida
Back in August just about every UF fan on the planet had this game pegged as a loss to the Tallahassee savages.  Fast forward three months, and even after 10 wins UF losing to FSU still sounds about right for all the reasons we feared three months ago.  The Gators were breaking in a new coach, no offensive line, no playmakers and what appeared to be a brutal schedule.

Will Grier is an idiot, but at least we know what a real QB can do in McElwain's offense.  And Coach Mac is working on a  Top 5 recruiting class, so the future is bright.

Meanwhile in Tallahassee, rumors swirling about Jimbo's future could have the Noles distracted.  No doubt Jimbo could use a change of scenery.  You would too if you caught your wife fucking her personal trainer...a former Gator wide reciever no less.  Factor in a recent report suggesting FSU football players received preferential treatment in no fewer than TWENTY sexual assault allegations, and maybe Jimbo's ready to say fuck it, I'm out.  Time to geaux somewhere else.

But at the end of the day, key injuries on UF's defensive line will be the difference.  No Alex McAllister, Jonathan Bullard is doubtful, and Vernon Hargreaves isn't 100%.  Davlin Cook could run wild if he doesn't tweak his hamstring again.  UF's offense can't score at a Las Vegas whorehouse with Lamar Odom's credit limit. 

And if after all that, UF somehow plays FSU close and the game comes down to a kick...we're fucked.

Regardless of the outcome, I love the direction of the program, I love this coach and I absolutely love my alma mater.

Noles - 20
Gators - 13

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