Wednesday, October 24, 2012

eViL G's Weekly Picks - October 27th Edition

Georgia's mascot does a flawless impersonation of Tennessee's defense.
Greetings from West Orange County, Florida.

First things first, I'd like to give a huge shout out to The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman, who was kind enough to link eViL G and Coach E's blog on his website,  Check it out when you get a chance, he's absolutely hilarious...and unlike this off-brand, flea market blog he has more than a couple dozen followers.  Big ups to TUG!

Unconfirmed rumors about a possible Florida-Georgia tailgate appearance by Coach E has the Internet abuzz with excitement.  Chris Leak's identical twin has been AWOL recently due to work and family obligations, so hopefully he can tear himself away from real world stuff to bless us with those dreamy green eyes.  You know where to find us Coach...Lot Z tucked in the corner under that big ass shade tree. 

Finally, now that the WNBA Finals are over, this blog has my mother's undivided attention, so I'm apologizing up front for using the F-word multiple times before Hate Week.  Love you Mama.

Fuck Georgia.


Tennessee at South Carolina
The Derek Dooley Farewell Tour makes its final stop in Columbia, and you can expect a tearful, emotional reception from the Gamecock fans in attendance.  SEC wins are hard to come by, so yeah we're all sad to see him go.  Let's just enjoy Derek Dooley while he's still here, like Abe Vigoda at a Comedy Central roast.
Gamecocks - 34
Volunteers - 24

Ohio State at Penn State
Remember when Urban Meyer took heat for playing Tim Tebow two weeks after that nasty concussion in Lexington?  Well Urban's at it again.  Braxton Miller is expected to play this Saturday after getting knocked the fuck out last week against Mrs. Coach E's alma mater Purdue.  This time around nobody cares because Ohio State is on probation and the Big 10 sucks.
Buckeyes - 10
Lions - 3

Duke at Florida State
FSU has a chance to play spoiler.....against football.  My iPad tried to autocorrect "football" with "basketball" nine times before it self-destructed.
Noles - 45
Duke - 21

Notre Dame at Oklahoma
I know God exists because Notre Dame hasn't won a national championship since 1988.  I also know God exists because he created Thin Mint girl scout cookies and Cheese Whiz.  Let's all bow our heads and pray Notre Dame doesn't go undefeated.  Amen.
Sooners - 37
Irish - 21

Texas A&M at Auburn
Johnny Football puts another nail in Gene Chizik's coffin, while Iowa State fans can be heard snickering from two time zones away.
TAMU - 25
AU - 14

Mississippi State at Alabama
Bama clinches the West, while Dan Mullen auditions for one of a half dozen soon-to-be job openings across the country.  Mullen makes my favorite Bama fans in Atlanta and Birmingham sweat it out for three quarters before pulling away. 
Tide - 24
MSU - 10

and finally....

Florida vs. Georgia (at whatever they're calling the Gator Bowl these days)
In terms of demeanor and management style, Mark Richt and Will Muschamp are polar opposites.  If Richt and Muschamp were professional wrestlers, Richt would be Bret Hart...technically sound, solid yet unspectacular, and an absolute bore on the microphone.  Muschamp is more Sid Vicious, or perhaps the Ultimate Warrior...intense, fiery, find yourself watching just in case someone gets thrown through a table or set on fire.  Rarely are you disappointed.

If Richt and Muschamp were old school R&B singers, Richt would be Smokey Robinson...and Muschamp?  Definitely Teddy Pendergrass.  Cue the dream sequence machine and imagine those two going after a 5* stud recruit.

Richt:  "I don't care about anything else but, being with you...being with you..."
Recruit:  "Fucking homo..."

Muschamp:  "YOU GOT, YOU GOT, YOU GOT, WHAT I NEED!!!" (followed by Muschamp sacrificing a small farm animal in the kid's living room)
Recruit:  "I'm enrolling in January.  Where do I sign?"
Recruit's mother:  "I'd like for you to have these." (hands Muschamp her bra and panties)
Recruit's father:  "Did you know Richt is a fucking homo?"

(end dream sequence)

As far as expectations go, each coach has delivered almost the exact opposite of what their respective fan bases expected.  UF barely started the season ranked, while UGA was thought to be the SEC East's #1 contender to Bama's throne.  Eight weeks later UF is nationally relevant, two years ahead of schedule according to my calendar.  Meanwhile UGA is in that familiar position of being good, but not quite good enough to be taken seriously outside of its division.

I never go into this game feeling confident, but UGA's got locker room issues, Jarvis Jones issues and offensive line issues.  Granted, they might have the best offense UF's faced all year, but UF's defense is playing out of its mind.  Short of Jeff Driskel and UF's offense turning the ball over, or Aaron Murray playing the game of his life against the best defense he's faced all season, I expect UF to win this game.

Fuck Georgia.

UF - 28
UGA - 17

1 comment:

  1. evil G, you moving up. New links, new fans, new backdrop. (Nice touch - grain leather in Florida blue. Makes me puke, purple and gold is more my style, but I can totally see it on you.)

    You forgot one game - LSU vs Bye. I have it tied going into the half, though they pull away in the second half as LSU's defense causes three turnover's and a special teams TD by Odell Beckham off a punt return. Mettenberger throws only 2 INTs against the Bye D, due to his laser-like focus on his intended receiver. The LSU offense manages 4 firstdowns, with five called back due to motion, illegal receiver, illegal formation and two holding calls. LSU's defense is also flagged for multiple unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, allowing the BYE to kick two fieldgoals. Final - LSU 21, Bye 6.