After last week's offensive abortion in North Cuba, I contemplated taking a bye week along with the Gators. Not to go fishing mind you, because it takes too long. Publix sells fish, and it doesn't require getting on a boat.
But I owe it to my Bama buddies in Atlanta and Birmingham to chime in on that alleged big game in College Station, so here I am...uninspired, unmotivated but here nonetheless.
Keith, Keith and Garland, these picks are for you. Roll Tide!
Nevada at Florida State
Thou shalt not covet thy rival's starting QB with the kick ass last name. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. My QB sucks, and I want theirs. I'll take Nevada's backup QB...how much worse can he be?
Seminoles - 48
Kaepernicks - 14
Tennessee at Oregon
UF has the week off while Tennessee travels to Autzen Stadium to get boatraced. For you gamblers out there, take Oregon and lay the 28 points...Tennessee's young QB gets exposed on Saturday, just in time for his first trip to Gainesville.
Ducks - 51
Vols - less than 23
Ole Miss at Texas
If Mack Brown coached at Florida, offensive coordinator Brent Pease would have been fired this week. Then again, if Mack Brown coached at Florida, Jeremy Foley would have fired him two years ago. Texas wins, but Mack Brown's days are still numbered.
Horns - 20
Rebels - 17
Alabama at Texas A&M
I've been offered cash, prizes, and other illegal benefits by Alabama boosters to go reverse mojo and pick Texas A&M...and it's tempting. Reverse mojo forced four UF turnovers in the red zone last week and caused an unnecessary 2-point conversion attempt...so yes, anything is possible.
Because I love each and every one of you...all 25 of you...I've gone out of my way not to mention last year's Heisman Trophy winner until this week, and because I'm sick of hearing his name, I refuse to mention him by name. For simplicity's sake, let's just call him Dick.
America is tired of hearing about Dick. We thought it was cool when Dick led A&M to that huge upset in Tuscaloosa last year, but that was last year. Alabama played at LSU prior to losing to Dick. This year Dick has Alabama's full attention. Alabama won't be taken by surprise as a result of Dick.
Bama's offensive line is a work in progress, but so is A&M's entire defense. And for all the attention Dick's received, Alabama's QB isn't exactly chopped liver. Bama's defense is solid as usual, and this Christion Jones cat is the second coming of Javier Arenas on special teams.
Alabama has its enemies, but this week the country is united behind the Crimson Tide to put an end to this Dick circus. If you like Dick, that's your problem and there's nothing wrong with that.
At the end of the day I think this game, this stage, this moment, are all too big for Texas A&M's football program, and Nick Saban is money in revenge games.
Crimson Tide - 34
Dick's Team - 23