Thursday, September 26, 2013

eViL G's Weekly Picks - September 28th

Florida QB Tyler Murphy completes a pass while simultaneously
high-fiving a Tennessee defender.  Is there anything this kid can't do?

A wise man once said, “If you can’t be entertaining, be brief.”

Real world deadlines, family matters and other assorted miscellany almost made this my personal bye week.  But at the end of the day I need to make these picks more than you need to read them.  It’s been one of those days and one of those weeks.

And as I type this, unnamed sources are reporting the Gators just lost six more starters to season ending injuries, or "tweaks" as head coach Bill Crustlamp calls them.  To make matters worse, Andre Debose has been cleared to practice. 

Is this thing on?


Florida at Kentucky
Last time Kentucky beat UF in football, I was a freshman at UF, which makes sense considering UF was the first university in the South to admit recently freed slaves.  I hosted Frederick Douglass, Nat Turner and some dude named Toby during their official visit.  Douglass and Turner wound up signing with Virginia, and Toby’s football career was literally cut short due to a foot injury.  UF and their black Irishman QB Tyler Murphy extend the streak against Kentucky.  In other news, I’m old.
Gators – 34
‘Cats – 10

Ole Miss at Alabama
For the fellas out there, think about the time around your 15th birthday.  Your voice started changing, hair started growing in places it never grew before…and for some odd reason you felt the urge to challenge your father to a fight.  Well, Ole Miss is feeling REALLY good about themselves right now, to the point where they’re talking crazy smack to Mack Daddy Alabama.  Ole Miss is playing well, maturing nicely, but don’t confuse some newfound chest hairs and pubes with being a grown ass man. 
Tide – 41
Rebels – 24

South Carolina at Central Florida
As you may or may not know, my sister is the head women’s basketball coach at UCF, and the company whose name is plastered all over UCF’s football stadium employs someone near and dear to you all.  So yeah, Go Knights…and Hello Friend.  The locals are calling this game the biggest game in UCF history.  For South Carolina fans it’s just another game, with a Sunday trip to Disney mixed in before taking Monday off to check out LegoLand. 
Cocks – 23
Knights – 14

and finally…

LSU at Georgia
Lost in all the pre-season hoopla over Alabama’s bid for a three-peat, or Johnny Football‘s off-season of tomfoolery, someone forgot to tell LSU they weren’t supposed to be relevant.  Meanwhile the Cajuns are quietly playing the best football in the SEC…or perhaps, THE ENTIRE WORLD!  UGA already lost to Clemson, and by Alabama standards their 2013 squad looks almost ordinary compared to the last two.

Reverse mojo usually bites me in the ass when Georgia’s involved.  The Dawgs pulled a Clemson right out of the gate, losing to Clemson at Death Valley, Jr three weeks ago.  I picked Georgia to beat Clemson.  Bizarro Driskel made his first career appearance last season in Jacksonville after I picked UF to beat UGA.  The Dawgs let me down a few years ago when I picked them to beat Boise State in Atlanta.  Who in their right mind takes Boise State to beat Georgia in a venue called the Georgia Dome?

One way or another UGA always makes me look foolish.  It's what they do.  LSU looks like the more complete team, with a better defense, an improved Zach Mettenberger and skill position talent comparable to UGA.  But that reverse mojo is calling...and I'll take being wrong about Georgia losing all day every day.

I'm not one for hyperbole, however in this case...

Georgia - 59
LSU - 7

Be good.

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