Thursday, October 3, 2013

eViL G's Weekly Picks - October 5th

UF's 2013 offense...I think I've seen it somewhere before....

Greetings from Central Florida, where Steve Spurrier's blood alcohol level is none of your damn business.

A non-gameday pilgrimage to UF’s campus yesterday has me feeling somwhat nostalgic.  It was a business trip, but I still managed to find time to sneak into The Swamp in between meetings at Shands.  It bears noting that I was able to park illegally at the O’Dome without getting a ticket, something that NEVER happened when I was a student 27 years ago.

There’s a Starbucks and Chick Fil’A on campus now.  We had Burger King and Krystal across the street from campus on University Ave, and we liked it.

The HUB is no longer the hub. 

Burrito Brothers is gone, but you can tailgate where it used to be.

The cable company didn't carry Fox back then, so on Sunday nights we'd go to Joe's Deli to watch The Simpsons via satellite.

There was no internet access at Library East or Library West.  We had something called LUIS, which was an improvement over Dewey and his decimal system, but that book you needed for your research paper was never where it was supposed to be. 

Our preferred gaming system was the Space N’ Gator arcade conveniently located at the Reitz Union.  We didn't have cell phones.

It's crazy to think it's been almost THREE DECADES since I first stepped foot on campus.  But some things never change...after 60 years, Century Tower hasn't lost a brick.  

Our student body is still undefeated.  Boom. 

You know what time it is.


Maryland at Florida State
FSU fans are going straight up Tebow over Jameis Winston, to the point where they’re buying t-shirts with Winston posing as Jesus…the Messiah.  It reminded me of that Good Times episode when JJ painted a picture of Black Jesus, and his mother (whose first name coincidentally was Florida) didn’t approve…because as we all know, every baby born in Jerusalem back in the day had blonde hair and blue eyes.  If you’re too young to remember Good Times, think Cosby Show, but with poor people.  If you’re too young to remember the Cosby Show, quit reading this and go finish your damn homework.  Maryland is better than usual, but FSU is still much better than Maryland.  Science.
Noles – 38
Terps - 17

Ohio State at Northwestern
Let’s see…leave Florida because Nick Saban owns you, but not before taking the entire 2010 season off to practice for your ESPN announcer gig.  Check.  Report your former employer to the NCAA for some nit-picky secondary violations.  Check.  Kick out members of the media from open practices because they wore blue shirts.  Check.  Convince James Clark to leave New Smyrna Beach for Columbus instead of Gainesville.  Check.  It took a little longer than expected, but I now officially hate Urban Meyer, and I hope he catches pink eye and rickets.  I also look forward to booing him 20 years from now when UF Director of Athletics Shane Matthews inducts Meyer into the Ring of Honor, hopefully followed by Shane punching Urban in the face.  As for the game, if this was a science fair, or a battle of journalism essays, Northwestern might stand a chance.  It’s not, they don’t, and this game gets ugly quick.
Dumb Kids – 41
Smart Kids – 21

Georgia at Tennessee
Tennessee is a dumpster fire right now, and life won’t get any easier Saturday after UGA comes to town and drops half a hundred on ‘em.  I don’t know if UGA is the SEC’s best team, but they’ve got the most impressive resume so far, and Alabama just lost their best defensive back from an already weak secondary.  It’s WAY too early to call, but if by chance Georgia finds itself in a position to extend the SEC’s national title streak, you guys would be okay with cheering for Oregon right?  Who’s with me?
UGA – around 50
Vols  – less than 20

and finally... 

Arkansas at Florida
Rewinding back to 1986, I remember picking up football tickets at Simpson Hall on Thursday, hopping the north end zone wall Friday night to tape my flask filled with Captain Morgan under the seat, where it was usually waiting for me on Saturday afternoon.   Fast forward 27 years later, students can’t be bothered to get to football games on time, if they go at all. 

Remember the offensive schemes SEC teams abandoned when Steve Spurrier came to the SEC in 1990?  You’ll see that very same offense from both teams Saturday night.  Kickoff is set for 7:00pm, and this game might be over by 9:00 the way both teams run the football.

Alex Collins should provide a strong test for what's easily the SEC's best defense, even without Easley.  You'd think by now opposing QBs would stop picking on Vernon Hargreaves III, but for some reason they keep thinking he's someone other than the best freshman defensive football player in UF's history...that's right I said it.

This game won't win any beauty contests, but the good guys win...just like we used to in the 80s...with just enough offense and too much defense for the bad guys to handle.

Gators - 20
Hogs - 13

Be good.

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