Thursday, October 31, 2013

eViL G's Weekly Picks - November 2nd

Invisible Alabama fan in the middle and Stanford fan on the far right...
I'd like to take this time to wish the entire Internet a Happy Halloween. 

We're headed to Jacksonville for a football double-header, and the weekend can't get here soon enough.  My alma mater, undefeated Bishop Kenny High School, takes on Baker County Friday night.  And despite protests from both fan bases, my other alma mater still plans on playing Georgia Saturday afternoon. 

Guess which game I'm more excited about....


Tennessee at Missouri

Knoxville's Future
Mizzou came crashing down to earth last week, and Tennessee may have found its starting QB for the next four years.  His name is Josh Dobbs, and he looks like the light-skinned love child of Manute Bol and Grace Jones.  Judge for yourselves.  Mizzou still controls its destiny to play for its first SEC Championship, and they hold off a pesky Tennessee team that just won't go away.
Mizzou - 27
Vols - 24

Miami at Florida State
Miami's 2013 squad looks eerily similar to UF's 2012 team.  The Canes win, at times looking like complete dog shit while winning...against teams they should destroy.  FSU looks like the best team in the country not named Alabama...or Bishop Kenny High School (suck it Bolles).

Miami gave up over 400 yards to UF's offense.  FSU will eclipse that midway through the second quarter.  Miami gave up 16 points to UF's pathetic offense.  FSU will eclipse that before the second quarter.  Miami almost lost to Wake Forest at home.  Wake Forest is considering cancelling their game with FSU.

FSU is favored by three touchdowns.  They will win by at least four, maybe five.  FSU-Clemson was ugly...this will be much uglier. 
Noles - 55
Canes - 17

 ...and finally

Florida vs. Georgia
Both teams come limping into this game at 4-3, and to make matters worse, the usually festive Florida-Georgia Lot Z pre-game tailgate will also be minus a bunch of regulars.  Hopefully our backups can step in and produce.  Man down, man up.  Chadwick, I’m looking directly at you...this is your time.

Coach E will be a no-show for the second consecutive year, which is unprecedented.  He’s working like a slave up in Charlotte on some super secret IT project.  Good news is, once he’s done and the check clears he’s buying each and every one of you a brand new 2014 Honda Civic…because he can.

Earlier this week UF head coach Will Mustcramps announced freshman tailback prodigy Kelvin Taylor will make his first career start tomorrow.  Injuries aside, it’s been clear to anyone paying attention Taylor should have started weeks ago.  KT looked great against Missouri last week, but we scored too quickly when he was in the game so Mustcramps had no choice but to bench him in favor of a 5 foot, 3 inch Asian kid with one leg.  Winning the time of possession battle is just that important. 

UGA gets Todd Gurley back, which almost seems unfair even when you consider Aaron Murray usually saves his worst performances for Florida.  UGA’s defense is suspect, but they’re going up against UF’s offense.  UGA's offense is decimated by skill position injuries, but UF's defense looks more mortal each week.  Advantage Georgia. 

Muschamp’s margin of error is slimmer than JJ from Good Times.  Three straight losses to Georgia puts him in squarely on the hot seat, uncharted territory Ron Zook never reached.  Say what you want about Brent Pease, but I marvel at his consistency.  The timing of Tyler Murphy's regression is remarkably similar to Driskel's regression last season.  Pease might lose his job before halftime. 

UF should bust out the orange jerseys Saturday to make this tranformation back to being UGA's bitch complete.

It feels like 1988 all over again.

Dawgs - 24
Gators - 10

Be good.


1 comment:

  1. "Manute Bol/Grace Jones Love Child" - funniest comment of the year!