Tomorrow afternoon, mRs. eViL G and I are entertaining friends, family, and members of the Internet's most dangerous super secret message board for our 2nd Annual Big Ass Gator Football Watch/Pool Party. The guest list includes former UF basketball great Craig Brown, UCF's head women's basketball coach, and some guy named Chadwick.
It's also my father's 80th birthday today, so tomorrow's big watch/pool party takes on added significance. He will be in attendance, along with a few family members he hasn't seen in a while...so please don't ruin the surprise.
Now my father doesn't swim...he's an 80 year-old black man after all...and I predict he'll sleep through the second half of Florida-LSU after a vodka shot or two. But I love him just the same, and I can't wait to see him this weekend.
Happy 80th Birthday SLW, Jr!! Your baby boy has a bottle of Absolut and a hand rolled Montecristo with your name on it.
Texas vs. Oklahoma
The Mack Brown Farewell Tour makes its final stop at the Texas State Fair, but not before Bobby Stoops gets all up in that ass one last time.
Sooners - 42
Longhorns - 14
Missouri at Georgia
Last year UGA taught Mizzou the true meaning of grown man football. This year UGA's defense is chock full of 13th graders, and Mizzou is playing much better than expected. Aaron Murray's had a week to learn the names of his new starting tailback and receivers, so those timing and chemistry issues we saw in Knoxville shouldn't be an issue. UGA needs to make a statement after last week's near debacle...and they do just that.
Georgia - 38
Mizzou - 13
South Carolina at Arkansas
You want drama? We got drama. A couple weeks ago Steve Spurrier got all liquored up (allegedly) following a come from behind win at the snake pit known as Bright House Networks Stadium. A week later, someone close to Jadeveon Clowney shared with him what a bi-monthly paycheck looks like when your annual salary is $8.5 million. Shit, I'd pass on playing Kentucky too. Whether Clowney plays or not, Arkansas doesn't have enough offensive firepower to keep up with Shaw and Company. Cocks win.
Chickens - 30
Pigs - 17
Florida at LSU
LSU pays tribute to its 2003 national championship team this Saturday in Red Stick, which is weird considering their only loss that season came at the hands of Ron Zook's Florida Gators. Perhaps UF should recognize our 2008 national championship team five years from now when Ole Miss comes to town...okay maybe not.
Every week it seems like we learn something new about Florida. Three weeks ago we learned Tyler Murphy might be college football's best kept secret. Two weeks ago we learned it takes Matt Jones two minutes and eight seconds to run 67 yards. Last week we learned Solomon Patton might look like a 9th grader playing varsity, but he's the gamebreaker UF's offense desparately needed.
This week we'll find out just how good UF's defense is. Ditto for LSU's offense. Tyler Murphy's had the luxury of playing two games at home, and another at Kentucky...so make that three home games. Saturday's environment will be slightly more intense when UF has the ball.
In spite of LSU's questionable defense, Florida struggles to get the running game going, primarily because UF's coaching staff hates Kelvin Taylor. UF's defense plays lights out again...led by Dante Fowler...but UF's offense stalls out one too many times, resulting in a missed field goal with seconds to play.
The good guys cover, but the bad guys win.
LSU - 21
UF - 20