Thursday, November 7, 2013

eViL G's Weekly Picks - November 9th

Let's stay in touch.  You know...just in case....
Greetings from Central Florida, where this shitfest of a college football season gets more and more painful each week. 

I’m struggling to stay positive folks, struggling to give a damn.  And as I type this Oregon’s doing everything they can to ensure my hated in-state rival gets a national title shot.  Oregon head coach Larry Coker looks completely dumbfounded on the sidelines.  Stanford’s offense resembles what Florida’s offense should look like, but they do it with a bunch of nerds instead of 5* recruits like Xavier Nixon.

Basketball season can’t get here soon enough.  SAVE US KASEY HILL….SAVE US!!!


Auburn at Tennessee
Auburn lost 9 games last year, and they’re on schedule to win 9 games this year.  Gus Malzahn is a shoe-in for SEC Coach of the Year, and his squad might make the Iron Bowl more interesting than anyone expected a couple months ago.  Tennessee’s secondary gets a workout tomorrow.
War Eagle – 30
Rocky Top – 17

Vanderbilt at Florida
Another week, another season ending injury…this time it’s starting left tackle/matador Tyler Moore.  Get well soon Tyler.  If we’ve learned anything this season about UF, his back-up is probably an improvement.  Will Muschamp couldn’t be reached for comment on this latest season-ending injury.  Unconfirmed sources tell me he was alone in his office naked, masturbating to Stanford’s offense.  As a result, UF plays its most inspired football of the front of 50,000 fans bored out of their minds.
Gators - 16
Dores - 10

Houston at UCF
Your hometown, nationally ranked Knights lay a big fat egg at home after believing they’re as great as everyone says they are.
Cougars – 24
Knights – 20

…and finally

LSU at Alabama
Home field means little in this series, and LSU’s passing game is the best Bama’s faced since Johnny Football and Mike Evans torched them in September.  That’s about as good as it gets for LSU.  Bama appears to have hit that championship stride, and LSU’s defense won’t be able to keep pace.
Tide – 37
Tigers – 17

Be good.

No comments:

Post a Comment