Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Welcome Home Coach Mullen

Goodbye Starkville

Let me be the first to welcome Dan Mullen BACK to Gator Nation.  I know he hasn't been hired yet, but inside sources close to eViL G and Coach E's College Football Forum have learned that Dan Mullen is currently up in his attic, gathering all of his old UF gear to pack up for Gainesville.  He's got a press conference to get ready for next week, and more importantly he's got recruits to call.

As for all of the supposed usual suspects, if I hear John Gruden's name again I swear I'm gonna dropkick a baby kitten into rush hour traffic.  I was looking through the yellow pages to find an air conditioner repair guy, and you know whose name came up?  John Gruden.  I dropped off my dry cleaning this morning and John Gruden handed me a claim ticket.  My wife went to get a  manicure, and she had to reschedule because her normal nail technician was busy training John Gruden.  Is there a job opening in America this man is NOT interested in?

As for Bob Stoops, how many times can one man turn down the same job?  I'm happily married, but back in my single and more reckless days as a bachelor, even I had enough pride not to go back to the well after a chick gave me the Heisman 7 or 8 times.  Going from Oklahoma to Florida is a lateral, not a promotion.  Texas is down and Stoops is poised to own what's left of the Big 12 for years to come.

And finally, here's to you Urban Meyer.  Thanks for 6 great years, two national championships, two SEC titles, another Heisman winner, Percy Harvin, never losing to Tennessee and having fewer players arrested than Georgia.  You may never be as beloved as the ole ball corch in Gainesville, but you will definitely be missed by this UF alum.  You raised the bar to heights never seen around these parts, and I wish you, your wife and your smoking hot daughters nothing but the best.

Peace and love.

eViL G


  1. Considering how bad your predictions usually are, I'm going to assume Mullen will not be our new headcoach.

  2. My sources are much more reliable than my prognostication skills. I fully acknowledge my picks are usually garbage.