Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bizarro Meyer/Addazio Press Conference

As if getting bent over by lowly South Carolina at home by 3 TDs wasn't bad enough, all season long Gator Nation has been subjected to even more painful Monday press conferences, featuring Urban Meyer and his mentally challenged offensive coordinator Steve Addazio.  It's clear Meyer and Addazio both think towing the company line is the way to go.....why air your dirty laundry, even if it's scattered all over your neighbor's lawn for the whole subdivision to see?

For this reason I think the media should take a reverse psychology angle and start asking questions that play directly into Meyer's and Addazi's rose petal and puppy dog kisses view of what is easily the worst UF team in a quarter century.

In a perfect world, the Mike Bianchis, Pat Dooleys and those of their ilk would ask questions like this....

(initiate dream sequence....)

Coach Meyer, that minus-10 yard pass Brantley threw to himself, was that a wrinkle you've been working on all year, or just this week?"

Corch! Corch! Over here...your plan to speed up the tempo by running the same shitty plays faster, do you think it succeeded in getting South Carolina the ball back faster, or is there room for improvement on just how fast you can give the ball back to your opponent?

Corch Addazi, when you sit there on the sideline with the offense after a hard fought 3-and-out, and you just sit there, not saying a word to the offensive line or skill players, does it frustrate you that they refuse to telepathically take in your innermost thoughts and dreams?

Corch Addazio. According to those folks that know you well, your work ethic is legendary and you spend countless hours per week drawing up your gameplan. I recognize there is only 24 hours in a day, but have you ever considered watching film of the other team's defense as part of your weekly preparation?

Coach Addazio, follow-up to that last question....do you consider the fact that other coaches watch your team's game tape and therefore seem to predict exactly what you're going to do to be a form of cheating?

Corch Meyer!  Can you rub your belly and pat your head at the same time?

Corch Meyer Corch Meyer...we've heard some fans grumble because Andre Debose looks so good on special teams, and yet we don't get him involved in the offense. Have you considered just taking Debose off special teams, too, to quiet the fans down a bit?  And did you realize you're rubbing your chest, not your belly?

(dream sequence ends as my neighbor's dog starts barking at 5:30am)

If only the media had the balls to cut through Meyer and Addazio's bullshit....we can dream, can't we?

1 comment:

  1. hahaha...if wishes were horses....addazio would dream of 5 more attempts to run dive play