Thursday, November 11, 2010

November 13th Picks

Greetings football fans....this soap opera going on in Starkville, Auburn, and regrettably Gainesville has taken on a life of its own. The latest turn has the Mississippi State pimp Kenny Rogers claiming Cam Newton's father, the preacher pimp, originally made the "pay for play" demands of his son, the whore.  Taking it to what I like to call "the whole 'nother level", there's now a report claiming that some conversations were taped, including Newton's tearful confession to MSU coaches that he couldn't turn down Auburn because "the money was too great".

At no point during this ordeal have the Newtons come out and directly say, "We did not request payment for Cam to attend MSU or Auburn, nor did we receive payment from anyone during Cam's recruitment to Auburn."  And Auburn's leadership has been eerily silent while all of this plays out....oh, and there's those miraculous church renovations that kept Rev. Newton's church from being torn down.

NOW we find out Cam may have cheated on some tests during his stay at UF, which for starters makes you wonder why he didn't attend FSU instead.  This most recent development puts my alma mater directly into the cross-hairs of this train wreck.  The tinfoil hat delegation is convinced the evil, vindictive Urban Meyer has patiently waited to leak this story to the media after Newton left Meyer two years ago.  Nevermind leaking confidential student information is a violation of federal law.  Clearly Meyer is above the law and has more media influence than Oprah and Rupert Murdoch combined....and like most sinister types, he was born without a chin.

Hopefully this grease fire gets put under control, and soon.  A good start would be the Newtons fessing up.

On a personal note, this weekend promises to be quite historic for yours truly.  Saturday afternoon at 4:00 my sister's UCF hoops squad takes on the Lady Gators in Gainesville.  In case you're wondering, I will be wearing black and gold, cheering my head off for UCF to beat the snot out of my alma mater.  Of course two hours later I'll wearing orange and blue, sitting in my familiar cheap seats in Section 2 Row 7, cheering my head off for Florida to beat the snot out of South Carolina.

Live long enough and there's no telling who you wind up cheering for....or against....


Mississippi State at Alabama
Bama is one Auburn victory (which at some point will be vacated) away from having nothing to play for except a second Sugar Bowl bid in the past 3 years...not exactly what the Tide faithful had in mind when the season started.  Mississippi State on the other hand has their eyes on a New Years Day bid (Cotton Bowl perhaps).  Mississippi State also has the motivation of playing for their fallen teammate Nick Bell who recently lost his battle with cancer.  Noble cause indeed, but Bama is still Bama and they're playing at home.
Tide - 34
MSU - 13

Georgia at Auburn
Georgia coming to town is just what the doctor ordered for AU...not because UGA will be a pushover, but because the War Cheaters can finally focus on playing football.  It seems like Auburn's last football game was a year ago.  Don't expect the distractions to end anytime soon Tiger fans.  This whole Newton situation smells fishy, and you know it.  The home team wins as the evidence mounts.
AU - 32
UGA - 21

Oklahoma State at Texas
One team is 4-1 in the Big 12 South, ranked #10 in the country and has its sights on a BCS bowl.  The other team is Texas.  Sure Okie State is the Big 12's South Carolina, but this year Texas is the Big 12's Kentucky.  The Longhorns defense can't stop anyone, and Okie State can score like Coach E at a 1985 Bishop Kenny house party.  Too bad we didn't have iPhones back then....
Pokes - 31
Horns - 16

Ole Miss at Tennessee
This game is relevant for one reason.  Heralded tailback recruit Mike Bellamy is making an official visit to Knoxville this weekend.  Florida was never in the hunt for this kid, and it was reported Bellamy left the Florida-LSU game at halftime because he was "bored".  Clemson leads for Bellamy's services, and I need it to stay that way.  I don't need Tennessee or ANYONE in the SEC getting this kid.  He's the next C.J. Spiller.  I need Taylor Bray to play like a true freshman, and I need UT's offensive line to play like ass.  Considering Ole Miss is in town I'm probably asking too much.
Vols - 20
Rebel Bear Thingees -7

Penn State at Ohio State
Conference realignment can't come fast enough for the Big Ten, where we're headed for a 3-way tie between Ohio State, Wisconsin and Michigan State.  After head-to-head matchups, the next tiebreakers are penalty kicks and a 1,000 word essay on the Discovery Channel documentary, "The Armadillo: Nature's Little Tank". 
Buckeyes - 41
Lions - 14

Clemson at Florida State
It must be Week 11 of the college football season, because Christian Ponder is worn down to the point where he can't play.  You can almost set your watch by it.  Jimbo Fisher got his first taste of Wide Right last week, but I think E.J. Manuel manages the game well enough to beat your garden variety, mediocre Clemson team who recruits well every year, only to lose 4-5 games.  This will be one of them.  I've seen your future Mike Bellamy, and it involves Champs Sports Bowl bids and losses at home to Wake Forest and NC State.
Noles - 27
Tigers - 23

And finally......

South Carolina at Florida
Like clockwork, South Carolina's late season implosion is on.  You can set your watch by that too.  Only this season, for the first time since the SEC split into divisions, the East is garbage. 

The Gamecocks boast an excellent run defense and a forgettable pass defense, which is great for them because Florida's playbook doesn't have a pass play longer than 8 yards in it.  UF fans quick to jump on the Jordan Reed bandwagon need to be reminded of exactly who the Gators played last week...easily the worst Vanderbilt team in recent memory.  And unless UF shores up its offensive line issues, it won't matter who plays QB.

Marcus Lattimore is 100% healthy, and Alshon Jeffery can single-handedly turn Janoris Jenkins into a second day NFL draft pick.  A.J. Green has nothing on this kid.  For UF, Jeff Demps and Andre Debose are healthy too, so UF will have all of its weapons.  Sadly, Steve Addazio is also 100% healthy for this game.

Usually this is one of those reverse mojo games where I pick UF to lose, only to feel better when they win.  Screw that...The Swamp will be rocking, and Stephen Garcia will not disappoint the home fans, completing passing in stride all night to UF's talented secondary.  South Carolina does not win championships, not in Gainesville, regardless of who their coach is.

Gators - 27
Gamecocks - 21

Be good.


  1. sCam Newton is innocent! Cecil planted a money tree that Jeezus gave him to pay for the church repairs.

    All hail Zion!

  2. OJ Simpson and Robert Blake both think Cam is innocent also.