Friday, November 26, 2010

Hate Week '10, $cam Newton & The Gary Coleman Glare Of Death!!

Major props to eViL and Coach E for letting me take this baby for a spin!!

It's the day after Thanksgiving. The smell of turkey, cranberry and various desserts still linger in the air. The temperature has finally dropped a few degrees and I'm enjoying a cup of warm coffee as I watch a stray leaf blow gently across my lawn. This can only mean one thing...HATE WEEK IS UP IN THIS MUTHA!!!

As we give thanks for the things that mean the most to us, we should also take a few moments and talk about things we hate as well. Allow me to get us started...

I HATE AUBURN. This isn't the type of hate where once you strip it away, there is admiration and respect, this is the type of hate where once you strip it away, there are 6 or 7 more layers of hate. And you know what, I'm good with that. Auburn is like a black widow spider, there is absolutely nothing valuable they contribute to society; they exist only to cause pain to others (most notably me). In true Auburn form, they've given the world a whole new reason to hate them this year. I present to you exhibit #1.
$cam Newton -- not only is he "rich bitch" but his f'#*$ed up soap opera has been the biggest blight on the face of college football in recent history. Even worse, this relentless crap almost single handedly made me turn to the NFL for relief. Can any of us remember life before this (very talented) moron came on the scene? For the record: it no longer matters whether he "did it or not", the irreparable damage has long since been all of us.
In the spirit of Hate Week, I unveil the terrifying Gary Coleman Glare Of Death or GCGOD. I bestow this only on people or things that really piss me off. Much like Medusa's stare, this is meant to bring the recipient the worst possible skin rash, nose pimples, hemorrhoids, and ingrown pubic hairs that life has to offer.

1) Auburn University - Inclusion of this demonic institution should come as a surprise to no one (see above)
2) Jim McIlwain - Bama's OC is almost as bad as Steve Addazio. I think Garland Harwell and I have been utilized more than Ingram and Richardson -- inexcusable. He is the primary reason we won't be playing in Glendale. What a freakin idiot!!!
3) Tom Brady, Vince Young and Brett Farve - Bad hair, overgrown brat and the most overrated player in this history of sports. But enough about the NFL.
Who do you hate?
Safe Holidays and Roll Tide Roll!!

1 comment:

  1. Bravissimo Mister Edwards....Roll Tide indeed!