|The jury is out on that halo Cam....|
Welcome to the post-cocktail hangover edition of the weekly picks, brought to you by Saltines brand crackers, Pepto Bismol, Five Guys Burgers and Fries, and those Chaser pills you buy at CVS before binge drinking on your adult beverage of choice.
There's HUGE news out of the Plains, and it involves college football's poster boy Cam Newton. Word is he was sold to the highest bidder, who if this story is true, obviously turned out to be Auburn. Tennessee and Mississippi State were also mentioned, and it's rumored that MSU coach Dan Mullen blew the whistle on Auburn after Cam's handlers made their asking price known. Tennessee couldn't afford the alleged price because they're still paying Phil Fulmer's buyout, and they haven't received the bill from Bruce Pearl's legal defense team.
Now Cam is the son of a preacher man, and as the story goes the preacher man's church building was perilously close to being condemned, and at the 11th hour Pastor Newton recieved the necessary funds to save his church. I've heard this story before, but it usually involves a local community center that's about to be demolished so an evil, greedy developer can build a strip mall. Luckily the neighborhood teenagers threw together an impromptu break dance contest, attracting the best hip-hop dancers in town, and at the end of the day the kids raise enough cash, saving the day while dancing to the funky funky beat.
Personally I think Auburn is in deep trouble. There's only one school in the state of Alabama that's allowed to buy its players without serious repercussions, and it's not Auburn....or Samford.
The truth is out there.
Florida at Vanderbilt
I expect Florida to keep the momentum going after last week's big win in Jacksonville. In addition to having our resident stalker Chris Rainey back in the fold, tailbacks Mike Gillislee and Emmanuel Moody are both coming back from injuries. As far as Vandy goes, I hope SEC-TV mikes up their head coach before, during and after the game....I'm gonna miss that guy next season.
Gators - 30
Dores - 21
North Carolina at Florida State
Christian Ponder hasn't looked right all season, and this was before his late fumble at Raleigh last week. The kid is a warrior, but he takes a pounding even though his offensive line is supposedly the team's strength. Meanwhile, UNC is staring Southern Cal-like sanctions in the face. Lucky for them it'll take the NCAA another 16 years to fully investigate all the illegal crap they did. UNC has nothing to play for, and they'll play like it on Saturday
Noles - 28
Heels - 7
Arkansas at South Carolina
Two of the SEC's most talented and inconsistent QBs face off in Columbia. The Gamecocks can lose this game and still win the East by knocking off my Gators next week. Meanwhile Arkansas is playing for 2nd place in the West unless the planets line up. I like South Carolina's defense against an erratic Ryan Mallett. The Razorbacks' defense can't cover a baby with a beach blanket.
Cocks - 38
Hogs - 20
Arizona at Stanford
Arizona gets some key players back from injury for this game, but Stanford will be too much to handle at home. Andrew Luck has made Jake Locker all but invisible in the PAC-10. The smart kids win.
Cardinal - 41
'Zona - 28
Tennessee at Memphis
The Vols dip back into Conference USA for a much needed feel-good win. By the end of the season Vol fans will wonder why this Bray kid wasn't named the starting QB sooner.
Vols - 27
Tigers - 10
Nebraska at Iowa State
Iowa State can't sneak up on anyone after pimp slapping Texas in their own house. Nebraska will be ready, and Troy Polamalu's mini-me goes off for another 200+ yards on the ground.
Huskers - 44
Cyclones - 17
TCU at Utah
This game came very close to getting the "And finally..." slot, but then I remembered no one really cares about these two teams, the conference they play in, or their supposed chances to make the BCS title game. It's Texas Christian and Utah. This game should be televised on ESPN6. I might give a damn once Utah is in the PAC-10 and TCU accepts that Big 12 invite. Until then...
Utah - 3
TCU - 2
Lamar at Georgia State
Lamar travels to Atlanta to play upstart Georgia State. I bet Georgia State could field an entire team with dudes living in Atlanta named Lamar...and a competitive one at that.
GSU - 56
Lamar - 10
Alabama at LSU
Historically Baton Rouge has been kind to Alabama. Actually it's been kind to a lot of teams, but we'll let those wacky Cajuns think there's something magical about Death Valley. Sure it's a cool venue, it's crazy loud and the crowd is nuts, but the truth is Bama feels right at home in Red Stick.
Defensively LSU matches up well against Bama, as they do against most teams. LSU has a national championship caliber defense. Offensively LSU is about as consistent as my stepdaughter's moods.
The smart money is on Bama, but I'm past the point of second guessing Les Miles. Yes, he doesn't appear to be very smart, and he doesn't possess the clock management skills you want as your head coach. But the guy just finds ways to win when he has no business doing so. If LSU wins I won't be shocked, but Bama has too much on the line with very little margin of error left to make it to the big game(s). A Crimson Tide loss makes the Iron Bowl virtually irrelevant....who wants that?
Roll - 23
Geaux - 20