Friday, October 1, 2010

Coach E 10/2/2010 Picks

Coach E’s October 2nd picks will stink once again for the following reason:

1) Coach E is due for some bad luck. I’ve managed to go a whole week without sitting on my nuts. I actually made some money last weekend going 3 for 5 in bets. Mrs. Coach E and I got some alone time without the kids last Saturday and had the energy to bring about a moratorium in the 2010 Coach E Love Embargo. And Bishop Eddie Long has finally quit sending me pictures & asking me to come over to his house for spiritual counseling!
It can only go downhill from here.

Moneymakers for Speculators (5 games to bet)

Northwestern @ Minnesota (+5.5)
This is the easiest money of the weekend to be had here with such a low line. Listen up Gopher fans, what goes around come back around given how you ran Glenn Mason out of town. You are Minnesota. Not Nebraska, not Penn State, not Iowa, and damn sure not The Ohio State University. Tim Brewster officially receives his walking papers after another embarrassing loss this weekend.

Purple Wilbons -31
Rodents - 10

Penn State @ Iowa (-7)
If Owl RB Bernard Pierce had not gotten hurt last Saturday, the nation would be talking about Temple’s epic upset in Happy Valley. Simply, this is not a good Penn State team. I hope Joe Paterno sticks it out for another year so he can go out a winner. Iowa takes care of business and flummoxes the true frosh Lion QB.

Hawkeyes – 24
Lions - 10

Nevada @ UNLV (+20.5)
It’s all about the Benjamins folks. As the Pet Shop Boys would say in the classic song Opportunities; Coach E has the brains and you have the looks, let’s make lots of money. Weird question. Why is Nevada the Wolf Pack while NC State is the Wolfpack???

Wolf Pack – 41
Tarkanians - 7

The Ohio State @ Illinois (+17)
We have a battle of wits between Jim Tressel & Ron Zook for the Illnibuck Trophy. Coach E will take Tressel all day. Not an appealing game for a spectator. However; this one is very nice for a speculator. Tressel knows style points will be critical to make the case for the BCS this year.

Buckeyes – 38
Zooks -10

Washington @ USC (-10)
Revenge game for the Trojans. Coming off last week, I’ll take Lane Kiffin to cover the spread as Jake Locker curses himself for not leaving last year and costing his family millions.

Troy – 24
Huskies -13

Sucker Bets (Keep yo’ money in yo’ pocket games)

Georgia Tech @ Wake Forest (+9.5)
The Coach E 2010 College Football tour heads to Winston Salem to view what will undoubtedly be an ugly contest. Jacket QB Josh Nesbitt’s putrid passing ability has gotten worse and Paul Johnson’s defense is softer than a down pillow. However; the Deacon defense resembles a mediocre high school team. Wake doesn’t have a healthy QB after back to back trips to Stanford & FSU. Any financial speculation on the outcome of this one would be insanity personified. Nevertheless, for shits & giggles, I’ll take the Jackets to cover

Ugly & Nerdy Atlanta Style - 31
Homely & Nerdy NC Style – 21

Florida @ Alabama (-8)
I’m sorry Jay Howard. Coach E must humbly disagree with your opinion to the media that Tide RB Mark Ingram is just another player. Coach E simply says nay-nay. Mark Ingram is not just another player. He with a dash of Trent Richardson can be your worst nightmare if they get beyond the front seven and into the secondary. It was nice to see the UF offense humming a bit last week, but that was against Kentucky. Florida manages a backdoor cover but I can't go against Tide QB McElroy. The kid just does not lose.
Slammer Jammer – 24
Orange & Blue – 17

Tennessee @ LSU (-16)
Coach E must apologize to Vol fans for what I’m about to say. The UT program is in a truck stop toilet. You needed an all-timer horrible performance from a kicker and some boneheaded Blazer coaching decisions (e.g. a 54 yd field goal try rather than punting or going for it on 4th and 2 late) to beat UAB at home. Now you have to face LSU on the road. However; you do have a shot at covering the spread because without a doubt, Jordan Jefferson is the worst QB in the SEC. Les Miles and Gary Crowton have the best athlete on the planet in Patrick Peterson and still refuses to put in a package to utilize his talents on the offensive side of the ball. Are those two competing for the Idiot of the Year Trophy or what?

Tigahs – 26
Knox Vegas - 10

Stanford @ Oregon (-7)
The best game of the weekend by far. The strategy for both coaches is very simple. Jim Harbaugh wants to take the ball and physically punish you for 4 quarters while Chip Kelly wants to spread it out & score a point a minute with home run hitters at the skill positions. What’s gonna happen? Hell if Coach E knows. The Magic 8 Ball says Oregon gets revenge at home from last year’s beat down at the Farm. Still a little voice inside of me says that Stanford covers.

Duxx – 28
Cardinal – 24

Texas vs. Oklahoma (-3.5)
Both UT and OU were caught looking ahead last weekend. Sadly for the Horns, they flat out got pistol whipped (pun intended). The Sooners should need no motivation to get up for this game and Stoops redeems his long ago lost dominance against Mack Brown.

Billy Simms - 17
Earl Cambell - 14

Miami @ Clemson (+3)
Take Clemson to win this one outright. I’ll take the steady QB play of Kyle Parker at home over Mr. Interception Jacory Harris any day.

Tigers - 20
Canes - 14

Be safe and be Human!
Coach E

1 comment:

  1. Coach E, that is some funny stuff. Congrats on the end to the love moratorium. Got to agree on the Tigahs, Crowton is the stupidest OC in the college, pros, hs, and pee-wee football; and The Hat is stupid to keep him around. Three years and they still haven't taught Jefferson to step UP in the pocket to avoid the end rush, and how to throw the damn ball away.

    Have a great weekend.

    PS - eVil G - good luck on your job review.