Monday, October 18, 2010

Offenses That Smell Like Tuna, Dropped Title Chances and Cam Motherf***ing Newton

Some thoughts from this weekend:
  • Thanks to everyone who texted, e-mailed or called this weekend to make sure I was okay.  I love you all, and yes, I'm okay.  I think my stepdaughter took the loss harder than I did.  How much do I love this kid?  She got to sit up in Champions Club while the Mrs. and I sat with the unwashed masses seven rows up in the south end zone. 
  • The good news about the Mississippi State loss, like all Mississippi State losses, is that now changes will have to be made.  It's bad when your opponent beats you by playing what amounts to a four corners offense because they KNOW you can't score.
  • I take back everything I said about Cam Newton.  There's still a chance he stinks up the joint at Bryant-Denny, but this cat is a freak of nature and there's no denying he's the Heisman frontrunner.
  • Boise State just might find a way to sneak into this BCS title game.  Oklahoma could easily get tripped up by Nebraska in the Big 12 title game, Bama should handle Auburn at home, and Oregon is always good for a loss no one saw coming. 
  • Michigan State need not make reservations for Glendale're Michigan State.  I look forward to watching your band do that sweet kickstep entrance at the CapOne Bowl on New Years Day.
  • Back to UF's offense.....remember the movie Boomerang with Eddie Murphy?  There's a scene where Eddie's character is all messed up because Robin Givens was messing with his head.  During this time Eddie's character, who was in charge of the Marketing department, gave an employee who worked under him complete responsibility for producing an ad campaign for a designer fragrance.  The result was a disaster....the ad campaign featured Grace Jones painfully giving birth to this "fragrance" from her woman parts (who wouldn't want to smell like that?), and Murphy's character almost lost his job over it.  This my friends is what's happened to UF's offense...Meyer handed the keys over to an underqualified employee who can add value in some areas (recruiting and offensive line coach) but is woefully over his head as a coordinator.  The result is the abortion you saw Saturday night.  From this point forward my new nickname for Steve Addazio is "Strange" (pronounced stron-JAY).
  • Steve Spurrier....what the f**k bro?  It's Kentucky!!!  I know how much you hate kicking field goals but DAY-YAM!!!  You could have wrapped up the East.
  • By the time you've read this far, Nebraska's receivers dropped another three wide open TD passes from the kid Martinez.
  • I also take back everything good I ever said about Terrell Pryor.
  • UF should break out those orange jerseys again, because in two weeks Georgia is going to party like it's 1982.


  1. eViL - Nice boomerang references!! Question: If Meyer is Marcus and Addazio is "Strange", does that mean that the average Gator fan is Lloyd the perfume chemist?? As clarification: I'm picturing Lloyd with Strange's dirty panties being smeared across his face.

    I have no words for what is happening to the Gators except that people here in the Atl are excited that Georgia is still alive and St. Richt could still win the SEC East (at this point, I think my first pet Penny could still win the east and she's been dead for 30 years).

    Meant to ask this earlier, do you really think Jim Harbaugh is the best coach in college football???

    As for Cam, he is definitely a beast but as a proud Auburn hater, I hope/pray he somehow collapses during the LSU game -- which is unlikely. If he doesn't, then everybody is in trouble...BIG trouble. Are you finally starting to wish he were still a part of Gator nation?

    In other news, my beloved Crimson Tide looks tired and out of rhythm. Good Lawd, where is our bye week?? We REALLY need the two weeks to heal up, learn how to tackle and reforumlate our entire offensive strategy (i.e. we should probably consider checking down to the wide open tight end when they stack the box or perhaps we get really crazy and start using our all-Americans Ingram and Richardson every now and then).


  2. Wassup Pimp?!?!

    Allow me to clarify....

    Marcus = Urban Meyer
    Robin Givens = Tim Tebow
    Addazio = Creepy Lloyd
    Stange (the fragrance, not the crazy model) = UF's offense

    As for your Tide, they aren't exactly looking like world beaters now...they can't play Florida EVERY week. But they're winning, and that's all that matters. Some dominoes will fall this weekend (Oklahoma perhaps?), and your boys will begin their steady climb back up the rankings.

  3. LMFAO!!! That's absolutely hilarious eViL!!

    Thanks for the clarification, as you know I've always suspected that type of smoldering and passionate connection between Meyer & Timmy. Please make my day and tell me that Jeremy Foley is Lady Eloise??

    For the record, I think you and Coach E should flip a coin to see who gets to be Bony T!!