Friday, October 8, 2010

Coach E's October 9th Fall Cash Campaign

Coach E’s October 9th pick will stink again for the following reasons:

1) The kids have reduced Coach E & Mrs. Coach E’s Love Life to tatters. I’m contemplating taking up jogging just so I can hear heavy breathing again!

2) Coach E just got hit with the runaway train estimate from his contractor for Mrs. Coach E’s bathroom oasis remodel plans. Let’s just say there should have been a decimal point one digit to the left and the first digit should have been a 1 instead of a 2. Look’s like, I’ll be sleeping on the couch for a few nights to atone for the string of profanities that came from my mouth when Mrs. Coach E said “Oh, that’s not so bad!” I’m going to be too poor to afford welfare. I wonder if vending machines take food stamps?

3) Coach E will need all the patience he can muster this weekend. Tomorrow, I’m headed to JAX to see the folks and take Coach E Sr. and Little Coach E to the LSU @ UF game. Coach E will watch his father piddle about for about 2 hours post our target departure schedule and waste valuable tailgating & ticket procurement time. Jesus, please give me strength.

On to the picks….

eViL took care of business below in all the games I care about with his irrefutable analysis. So let’s just cover my capital raising activities to see if I can pay for this doggone bathroom.

The Weekend of the Road Favorite

UConn @ Rutgers (+5)
Scarlet Knights coach Greg Schiano used to be a covering machine. Now that crown belongs to Husky coach Randy Edsall. Take the boys from Storrs to make you some money.

UConn – 31
Scarlet Pimpernels - 20

Auburn @ Kentucky (+6)
This is a slight reach, but I’m desperate. The line has gone down this week from +8. Kentucky just does not have the defense. Take Auburn to cover.

War Eagle – 27
Calipari State - 17

San Diego State @ BYU (+4)
Coach doeth careth not about religion. Coach E treasur’eth the delta faucet fixtures that Brady Hoke’s Aztec turnaround can provid’eth to Mrs. Coach E so’eth Coach E can’eth have’th peace’th in his’eth hous’eth. Amen’eth!

Azteceth – 27eth
Mormoneth – 14 eth

Be Safeth and be humaneth!

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