Friday, October 15, 2010

October 16th Picks

Greetings everyone.  Welcome to the team building edition of the weekly picks, brought to you by your good friends at the cable company, Universal Studios and my favorite Orlando Chrysler Jeep dealership, aka the customer who helped yours truly make his sales quota for October.

Our sales team is playing hooky today.....instead of providing excellent customer service through tailored communications solutions for Central Florida's enterprise business customers, we're going to Islands of Adventure to let off some steam.  So while you guys are working, or giving the appearance of doing work while setting your fantasy lineups, I'll be riding the Hulk, eating funnel cakes and hitting the "ignore" button on my Blackberry all damn day long.

So what did we learn this week?  Agents pay players.  Coal miners in Chile pull tail like rock stars.  Playoff baseball is just as boring as regular season baseball.  Steve Addazio is still an idiot.  Brett Favre channeled his inner Tiger Woods, and saved TMZ the trouble of having to take pictures.  Based on eyewitness accounts, Brett Favre will never be mistaken for Brandon Spikes.

That's all I got...Islands of Adventure is calling...


Mississippi State at Florida
Tensions are running high in Gainesville, as the natives continue to take aim at Steve Addazio and his abysmal play calling.  Addazio has been quoted as saying the team is improving and he's pleased with the progress.  Addazio also thinks the Chilean mining industry has never been safer.  Addazio could learn a thing or two from MSU coach Dan Mullen, who will give an uninspired UF squad all they can handle before realizing they're Mississippi State.
Gators - 21
Other Dawgs - 16

Boston College at Florida State
Raise your hand if you had FSU beating Miami by four touchdowns.  Anyone?  Usually BC gives FSU fits with their power running game and stingy defense, but I expect them to take a beating similar to what we saw at Joe Landshark Pro Robbie Player Stadium last Saturday.
Noles - 45
Eagles - 17

Vanderbilt at Georgia
The Dawgs seemed to have found themselves last week at home against Big Orange.  The positive momentum continues as Aaron Murray and A.J. Green play pitch and catch all day.  Who needs Caleb King?
Dawgs - 45
Vandy - 7

South Carolina at Kentucky
The new SEC darling ventures into Lexington, where the 'Cats gave Auburn all they could handle last week.  History tells us South Carolina should tank a couple games at some point, but these Gamecocks look like a bunch on a mission to make some history of their own.  Someone needs to check Marcus Lattimore's birth certificate to make sure he's not 34 years old.
SEC East Champs - 27
SEC East Chumps - 3

Ohio State at Wisconsin
ESPN Gameday is in Madison tomorrow, easily one of our nation's most underrated college campuses.  Sure their coeds are pasty and they eat lots of cheese, but the campus is absolutely beautiful.  Camp Randall will be rocking, but the Badgers are a little too vanilla on offense and too slow on defense  to keep this one from getting out of hand.  Little known first job interview after graduating from UF was in Madison.  I was a finalist to drive the Weinermobile for Oscar Mayer.  (Insert your own joke here.)
Brutus - 31
Bucky - 20

Texas at Nebraska
The blackshirts are back, while Texas is reeling after back-to-back losses.  Texas, like my Gators, still haven't found their offensive identity, other than being offensive.  Nebraska on the other hand has a rising star at QB and plenty of incentive to make a statement nationally, even if Texas no longer looks like Texas.
Huskers - 28
Horns - 10

And finally....

Arkansas at Auburn
Screw ESPN Gameday and screw the Big 10.  This game will have a bigger impact on the national championship picture than any other on the slate tomorrow.  Auburn, Arkansas, Alabama and LSU will play what amounts to a round robin tournament to see who gets to play South Carolina (or pound the snot out of Florida) in Atlanta.

Ryan Mallett got most of the pre-season hype, but Cam Newton is getting all the love as the SEC's top QB, even if he's still a little wet behind the ears.  I'm tempted to take Arkansas on the road, but my gut tells me Mallett throws at least 3 picks trying to imitate Jay Cutler.  Auburn has the better defense, and they're playing at home.

The SEC West picture gets a little clearer...Arkansas, you're eliminated.

War Eagles - 24
Hawgs - 20

Be good.

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